Marik and Bakura: 333 Ways Continued
by Yami-The-Dark
Summary: Marik and Bakura go to Target and do the 333 ways to get kicked out. As many of us know, the story "Marik and Bakura: 333 Ways" by sailorblaze, was cancelled. I Private Messaged sailorblaze, and she gave me permission to continue this awesome story.
1. 57 In which Cathy gets prank called

_**Hello! As many of us know, the amazing story "Marik and Bakura: 333 Ways" by the creative and skillful sailorblaze, was cancelled. I Private Messaged sailorblaze, and she gave me permission to continue this awesome story. So, without further ado, here is the continued 333 ways!**_

_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, the idea for this fic, or Everything You Know Is Wrong.**_

_Everything you know is wrong,_

_Black is white, up is down and short is long,_

_And everything you thought was just so,_

_Important doesn't matter;_

_Everything you know is wrong,_

_Just forget the words and sing along,_

_All you need to understand is_

_Everything you know is wrong!_

_**At Target...**_

The dynamic duo exited the Marik Mobile and entered Target. Bakura took out the half-done list and read, " 'Number 164: Pour a bunch of lemonade from the entrance to the bathroom and come out saying someone should have told me where the bathroom was quicker.' Marik, you do it."

A few minutes later, Marik returned with a pitcher of lemonade.

"Where did you get the lemonade?" Bakura asked.

Marik replied, "Fanfiction convenience."

Bakura nodded as Marik poured the lemonade all over the floor in front of the bathroom. A few minutes later, Frank the zombie walked up to Marik.

"Diiiiiiid yooooouuuuu peeeeee oooon theeeee flooooor?" He asked.

"Someone should have told me where the _**EFF!**_ing bathroom was sooner!" He yelled, and then ran away from the bathroom area, leaving Frank too clean up the 'pee'.

Bakura crossed off number 164 and read "Number 165: Steal guns and ammo and shoot all the TV's you can find. Whoever blows up most wins."

A few minutes later, Marik and Bakura both had a nerf gun in both hands, as well as extra ammo. They both continued to the Electronics section and shot the TVs. Marik had used suction cup darts, so his ammo was running out quick because they were sticking to the TVs. Bakura had used regular darts, and continued to shoot the TVs with all the ammo he has, stopping to pick up the darts that fell to the ground before Marik could steal them.

A few minutes into their shooting game, Joey came up to them and asked "Hey, are ya supposed ta be doin' dat?"

Marik and Bakura exchanged looks, and started firing their guns at Joey until he fell to the ground yelling "Nyeeeeeee! Stop shootin' meeee! Nyeeee!"

When they ran out of ammo they both darted in opposite directions, leaving Joey, who had curled up into a ball, on the ground.

Marik crossed off number 165 and read " '166. Call the front desk and when they answer the phone say I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again. Then call and say I'm sorry, I will have to put you on hold. Can you call back? I'm busy on isle 3.' You can do this one, fluffy."

Bakura pulled out his phone and called the front desk, who he conveniently had on speed dial.

"Hello?" Answered Cathy the cashier.  
Bakura said back, "I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again."  
"What?" Cathy the confused cashier asked?  
"I'm sorry, I will have to put you on hold," Bakura replied.  
"Who is this? Is this that weird limey and his loud friend?" She asked.  
Realizing his cover had been blown, he quickly replied "Can you call back? I'm busy on isle 3," and hung up.

"That was close," Marik said, and Bakura nodded his head in reply.

_**And now for the stinger!**_

Ryou ran up to Tristan and yelled "You have to help me, Tristan! My ring is evil and it's going to kill us all!" He yelled. Tristan backed away slowly, leaving Ryou open-mouthed.

"Please don't hurt me," He whispered to the ring. Insane laughter could be heard from the ring dangling around his neck.

**(Line Break)**

**Well, there we have it! I hope you like it, I tried to make it as close to sailorblaze's as I could. Tell me what you thought, anyone who replied gets a free e-cookie. Anyone who doesn't gets a free e-hug, Melvin style!**


	2. 58 In which Bakura sets the new plot

_**Sailorblaze: You gotta love Cathy! And I'm glad you like the ending! Don't worry, I plan to make the next chapters a lot longer!**_

_**ArcherAzzure: I love Nerf guns, but I always lose the darts **_**T_T **_**You're welcome, and I'm glad you like the story^^**_

**GinnNekoChanAngel: Glad you like it! I've always wanted to do that one!**

_**Hello! As many of us know, the amazing story "Marik and Bakura: 333 Ways" by the creative and skillful sailorblaze, was cancelled. I Private Messaged sailorblaze and she gave me permission to continue this awesome story. So, without further ado, here is the continued 333 ways!**_

_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, the idea for this fic, Dora the Explorer, **__**Raindrops keep falling on my head,**__** or Everything You Know Is Wrong.**_

_Everything you know is wrong,_

_Black is white, up is down and short is long,_

_And everything you thought was just so,_

_Important doesn't matter;_

_Everything you know is wrong,_

_Just forget the words and sing along,_

_All you need to understand is_

_Everything you know is wrong!_

Marik and Bakura stepped out of the car and into Target. There seemed to be a hint of danger in the air, and it was not because someone had sprayed danger scented air freshener into the parking lot. Ignoring this strange feeling, Bakura walked into Target.

"Bloody hell, Marik! Hurry up!" He yelled. He turned to see the problem. Marik had gotten his hair stuck in the sliding door. _Again. _After a fight with the door and Marik's hair, which lasted a good 15 minutes, Marik had finally been freed.

"Yeah! Take that you _**EFF!**_ing door! I am the ruler of all doors! From now on, you will all bow down before me!" He yelled at the door, and everyone turned to look at the crazy man with hair that now stood in all directions.

"Marik, come on. People are staring," Bakura grabbed Marik's wrist and pulled him away.

"OK! Now, read the next one Bakura! I hope it's a song, I'm felling in a sing-y mood today," Marik declared.

Rolling his eyes, Bakura took out the list and read. "Number 167: Get an umbrella and have someone in a cart (or just a tall person) pour water on it while you sing Raindrops Are Fallin' On My Head," Bakura turned to Marik who was smiling.

The two split up, Bakura went to get a cart (which he just ended up taking from Tea) and a watering can (which Tea's cart happened to contain) and Marik grabbed a Purple raincoat and a Dora The Explorer decorated umbrella from the children's section.

The two met up back at the music section because Marik thought that it was the most appropriate place for a song. After some remarks from Bakura about Marik's choice of rainwear, the two got in the cart and Marik started singing (with Bakura pouring water from the watering can onto Marik's umbrella):

_Raindrops keep falling on my head  
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed  
Nothin' seems to fit  
Those raindrops are falling on my head, they keep falling_

_So I just did me some talkin' to the sun_  
_And I said I didn't like the way he's got things done_  
_Sleepin' on the job_  
_Those raindrops are falling on my, head they keep falling_

A crowd of people began to form around Marik and Bakura. They cheered on as Marik continued singing:

_But there's one thing I know  
The blues he sends to meet me won't defeat me  
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me_

_Raindrops keep falling on my head_  
_But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red_  
_Crying's not for me_  
_Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'_  
_Because I'm free_  
_Nothing's worrying me._

_It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me_

The crowd began to sing along:

_Raindrops keep falling on my head_  
_But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red_  
_Crying's not for me_  
_Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'_  
_Because I'm free_  
_Nothing's worrying me._  
_Nothing's worrying me._  
_Nothing's worrying me._

_It won't be long 'till happiness steps up to greet me  
Raindrops keep falling on my head  
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red  
Crying's not for me  
Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'  
Because I'm free  
Nothing's worrying me.  
Nothing's worrying...  
…me_

As Marik finished the song, there was loud applause from the crowd of people that were watching Marik sing.

"They love me, Fluffy!" Marik yelled.

"Yes, Marik. I suppose that bloody do," Bakura replied.

"What's you're friggin' problem? Are you jealous, fluffy?" He asked, poking Bakura in the ribs. Bakura looked Marik straight in the eye, and his eyes were bright red.

"Bakura? I think you should see an optometrist," Marik said.

Bakura said nothing, and lunged at Marik. He pinned him to the ground and wrapped his hands around Marik's throat.

"Bakura! Stop, you're not supposed to do this until chapter 68! What's gotten into you?" Marik Yelled.

Bakura's voice was extremely raspy, and he said "You've embarrassed me for the last time, Malik."

"I'm Marik! What are you saying? You don't want to continue the list?" Marik whimpered.

"Not just the list. I'm going to kill you and the entire abridged series along with it!" Bakura screamed.

At this point, Marik's face was turning purple. He frantically looked around for something he could use to knock Bakura off of him, but found nothing. Just then, he started glowing. Bakura let go of Marik's neck and covered his eyes from the sudden light. When the light cleared, Marik was replaced by Melvin.

"Get off!" He yelled, pushing evil-er Bakura off of him.

"Mariku…" 'Bakura' growled.

"No, I'm Melvin." Melvin said, pointing to himself. "Care for a HUG?" Melvin said, opening his arms in a huggy fashon.

"Enough of this foolishness! I'm-" But he was cut off by a pair of arms wrapping around him. It felt good for a second, but then 'Bakura' felt a searing pain all throughout his body. Melvin let go of him, and he was surrounded by squiggly yellow lines.

"Now, binky boy, GO BACK TO NORMAL!" Melvin yelled, extending his hand towards 'Bakura'. Bakura let out a yell and fell backwards. Melvin smirked triumphently and retreated back into Marik. Marik looked aroung, not quite sure what had happened. He spotted Bakura lying on the ground, and ran toward him.

"Bakura! Are you OK?" Asked Marik.

Bakura got up, holding his head. "I think so. What the bloody hell happened?" He asked.

"You went insane again. You were calling me Malik and saying something about an abridged series, and you TRIED TO FRIGGIN KILL ME! I MEAN, YOU ACTUALLY TRIED TO _**EFF!**_ING MURDER ME! WHAT THE FRIGGIN FRIG HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?" Marik yelled.

Bakura blinked, and then said "You're guess is as good as mine…"

Marik groaned "Just don't go crazy on me again… Thanks to you, we only got one thing done the entire day! We're going to have to do twice as much tomorrow!"

Bakura rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Let's just go home, I have a bloody headache," And with that, the duo left the store, and what was soon to become a new plot.

_**And now for the stinger!**_

**Yugi and palls stepped onto the turf of ancient Egypt. "It worked! Our time travel worked!" Yugi yelled, but was suddenly stepped on by something. "I am Zorc!" Said Zorc, smiling.**

**(Line Break)**

**Sorry for the lack of funniness in the chapter, but I had to introduce the new plot twi- er, I mean evil-er Bakura! What is he doing? Why does he call all the characters the wrong name? Why did he try to kill Marik? Why was Melvin so eager to HUG him? Why am I asking you all these questions when I'm the author? Find out eventually!**


	3. 59 In which Marik gets creamed

**ArchurAzzure: Glad you like the story!**

**Angelucie: Thank you! I just wish all the other fans of the original knew about this continuation!**

Bakura: How do you plan to get me in a closet with them? And If I were you, I would be more worried about Marik.

Me: SHU UP, BAKURA! …No, it only works with Mokuba…

_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, the idea for this fic,**__** Reeses peanut butter cup,**__** or**__** 99%**__**.**_

_Asani nattara mukaeni yukuyo_

_Minna onajisa yowaikedo_

_Sokoni kabenante hontowa nainda_

_Kimi ga kanjiteruhodo!_

"Now she's just being friggin ridiculous with the openings!" Yelled Marik.

"Calm down Marik, we're almost to the store," Replied our favorite bishounen kitty, Bakura.

"But how does it not bother you? Our _**EFF!**_ing theme song changes faster than Lady GaGa's outfits!" Continued Marik. Bakura only grumbled in response as the two exited the Marikmobile and entered Target.

Marik whipped out the list that he magically always had, yet it never made sense where he kept it, and read "Number 168: Go into one of those employees' only doors and go behind some food shelves. When people reach out to grab food, grab their arm and start to pull on it."

A few minutes later, Bakura stealthily infiltrated the employees' only room. He hid behind a shelf that was filled with boxes of carrots. 'The Target customers sure like carrots' he thought to himself. _/I like carrots!/ _said a familiar voice, that Bakura recognized to be his host. _\Host! I forbid you to like carrots! \ _He mentally scolded his hikari. _/Sorry master…/ _Replied Ryou, as he went back into his soul room.

Bakura waited for an employee to come and grab a carrot. After about ten minutes of waiting, Frank the zombie employee walked by.

"IIIII waaaaannnnt aaaaaa caaaarrrrooot!" he moaned reaching for a carrot. Bakura saw his chance and grabbed Frank's arm and began to pull. To his surprise, Franks arm came completely off.

"Crrraaaaaaaap... Aaaaagaaaaaiiiiiinnnn?" He moaned, as he reached out and took the arm from Bakura, who was looking confused.

Shaking his head, he returned to Marik. "How did it go, fluffy?" Marik asked when he saw Bakura.  
"I tore Frank's buggering arm clean off… And there wasn't even any bloody blood. How disappointing…" Bakura replied.

Marik laughed and read the next thing on the list. "Number 169: Eat all the ice cream boxes and then blame it on a worker with ice cream all over your face."

Bakura crossed his arms and said "As much as I love frozen cream, I'm not hungry." In truth, he wasn't very hungry. Being around all those carrots that smelled so… vegetabley had made him lose his appetite. Marik sighed, and walked towards the frozen desserts section.

When he got there, no one was around. 'Good' he thought. 'I don't want that Pharaoh to mind crush me for eating all the ice cream.'  
Marik started to open up every flavor of ice cream and eat as much as he could. He started with vanilla, then moved on to chocolate, then got to strawberry. When he was done with those, he moved on the more fancy ice creams. He shoved his face full with Reeses peanut butter cup flavored ice cream, spumoni ice cream, Mint chocolate chip, and anything else.

After he was done, he collapsed on the floor. His stomach was killing him. It hurt worse than one thousand HUGS. Marik was about to pass out when Tristan came over.

"Oh no! You ate all the ice cream! Now what will I eat while I watch the sun rise in a couple of hours?" He cried.

Marik yelled back "I didn't eat them! It was Bill the Manager!"

Tristan looked dumbfounded, but then he said " Oh. I'm going to talk to the manager about this!" Tristan stomped off, looking ready to kill the manager. Marik could make out Tristan yelling "MY VOICE GIVES ME SUPER STRENGTH!" before he walked out of earshot.

Feeling much better, Marik got up and walked back to Bakura. Marik received some very strange looks from the people he walked by. At first he wasn't sure why, but then he realized he still had ice cream all over his clothes.

"FRIG! MY FAVORITE TOP IS RUINED! RUINED I SAY!" He yelled, darting off back to Bakura.

"There you are Ma- HOLY RA! What in the name of Zorc happened to you?" Bakura asked, looking at Marik's Ice cream stained shirt.

"I ate too much friggin Ice cream, that's what happened!" He yelled.

"Great. Just bloody peachy. Let's get you home," Bakura said, pulling Marik out of the store.

**(Line Break)**

"**I thought you were going to have a new plot? This was pretty much the same as the previous chapters!" Bakura said.**

"**In due time, Bakura. In due time…" Said the author, as she faded into the shadows.**

**(Line Break)**

**End of part 3. Sorry, I couldn't think of any good 'stingers'. Please R&R! You reviewers keep me going. And also a note: High school is a bitch, so please don't be mad at me if it takes a while to get new chapters up. Here's a free e-cookie to make up for it. Those that review get an extra big e-cookie!**

**Also, could you all do me a favor and go to my profile? I have a poll about which song should be the next opening. Please vote, each mater!**


	4. 60 In which the author joins Bakura

**Sailorblaze: Yes, I hope they discover this fic! Maybe you could post something about it on your profile? **

Bakura: No! I don't want everyone to find out that this stupid mortal will be making a fool of me!

Me: YES YOU DO!

**Angelucie: Marik's in love with your sister?**

Marik: NO! It's all a lie!

Me: Of course it is, we all know you prefer men!

Marik: No! I'll have you know I like girls!

Me: Whatever you say Marik…

**Bishiestalker: Thanks!**

Marik: I'm SO happy you enjoyed my cries of pain!

_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, the idea for this fic, My Little Pony, a violin, or 99%.**_

_Asani nattara mukaeni yukuyo_

_Minna onajisa yowaikedo_

_Sokoni kabenante hontowa nainda_

_Kimi ga kanjiteruhodo!_

"Marik! Marik! Where the bloody hell are you!" Yelled the British kitty, Bakura.

"Ah, hello Bakura. I predicted you would be here," Said Ishizu.

"Where is Marik?" Bakura growled irritably.

"He's sick. He ate too much iced cream, so he will not be able to accompany you to your Target shenanigans," She replied. Bakura just grumbled and stomped past her and into Marik's room.

"Buggering hell, Marik. How sick can you b- holy **(bleep) **on a **(bleep)** sandwich! You look like crap, Marik," Bakura cried.

Marik's face was a light shade of green, and his hair was a mess. The sheets were over Marik's body, so Bakura couldn't see the rest of him (thankfully).

"Shut the _**EFF!**_ Up, Bakura! This is all your fault! The things I do for you!" He yelled and pulled the covers over his head.

"Oh, kiss my ass, Marik!" Bakura said in reply.

Marik stuck his head out of the covers just enough to say "But there's poop down there…"

"Fine! I'll just do the next stuff myself!" He grumbled and stormed out of the house. "Gods, first it was mind crush, then he has the Singaporitis, now he has a stomachache, the wanker… No who will accompany me to Target?" But just then a girl came out of the shadows and cried: "I will accompany you to Target!" The girl looked no older than fourteen, and she had blonde hair and blue eyes.

"Who the bloody hell are you?" Bakura cried!

"I am the author, Yami-The-Dark. Otherwise known as Lexie," She said, smiling.

"What happened to Sailorblaze? " Bakura asked.

"Don't you remember? She cancelled, and I am keeping the series going!" Lexie said.

Bakura sighed and said "Well, if you're going to come with me, you'd better have a car. I don't want to walk…"

"Are you joking? I'm thirteen! But I do have a bike!" She said, pointing to a purple bicycle.

"You cannot be serious." Bakura said. But sadly for him, Lexie is the author and therefore has the power to make Bakura do anything. So Bakura and Lexie rode the bike to Target.

**At Target…**

When the twosome arrived at Target, Bakura pulled out the list and finally got to the part all the readers want. The list. "Number 170. Pour carrots on the floor so the employees have to pick it up. Continue doing it for a long period of time." Bakura was about to yell at Lexie to do it, but he was interrupted by Ryou.

_/Carrots?/_

_\No bloody carrots!\_

_/awwww…/ _

"Hey, Bakura! Snap out of it!" Cried Lexie.

"Hm? Oh, I was just talking to my host," Bakura explained.

"I know. I'm the author, remember?" She said, looking up at Bakura, who was not much taller than the tall teen.

"Yes, yes I remember… So, go do number 170," Bakura ordered. Lexie just nodded and headed to the vegetable section. She grabbed a bag of carrots and proceeded to cover the floor with the orange food.

"Heeeeyyyyy! Whaaaaat aaaarrrreee yoooouuu doooiiiinnnng?" Yelled a very familiar zombie.

"Oh, I was just covering the floor with some carrots," She answered innocently.

"Oooooohhhh. Weeeelllll haaaavvvveee fuuuuunnnn," Frank said, and then walked away.

"Well, that wasn't supposed to happen…" Said Lexie as she walked back to Bakura, leaving the isle's floor covered in carrots.

Bakura didn't bother to ask her how it went, and just crossed off number 170 and read. "'Number 171. Skate around on a skateboard, then fall over and pretend to break your leg.' You had better do this one, seeing as I have no idea how to ride a skateboard,"

"Neither do I!" She yelled in response, but walked to the part of the store that had all the wheeled vehicles. She found a cool looking skateboard that was rainbow at the top and was decorated with all the characters from My Little Pony (Which was one of her favorite shows). She set the skateboard on the ground and stepped on it.

"H-hey! This is easy! She yelled. She continued to skate all around, nearly bumping into Joey, Tea, Tristan, and Yugi.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeee!" She yelled. "Hey! Look out!" She cried as she nearly bumped into Duke.

Duke said (with music) "Even the ladies on skateboards can't resist slamming into the hotness that is Duke Devlin."

"I'm thirteen!" Lexie yelled. She made the mistake of looking back at him to say this, and slammed right into the side of a shelf. "Uggh. OW! I think I broke my leg!"

Bakura, who was waching the whole thing crossed off number 171 and went to greet his new partner in crime for the chapter. "You can get up now."

"I can't! I think I really broke my leg!" She cried, clutching her leg. Bakura smirked and walked off.

"Wait! WAIT! Bakura, aren't you going to help me?" She yelled after him, but apparently her broken leg left her unable to use her writing powers to make him come back to help her.

"Well, now that she's gone, I can proceed." Bakura said with a smirk. "'Number 172. Start playing the violin.' Crap, where do I get a violin?" Bakura wondered. Just then, Tristan walked by and was conveniently carrying a violin with him. Bakura smirked and sneaked up behind Tristan. He slowly wrapped his hands around the violin, and with one swift yank had pulled it out Tristan's hands and took off running. This all happened in just a split second, and Tristan turned around to see nothing.

"MY VIOLIN HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN!" He yelled, and then ran off crying.

**Meanwhile…**

Bakura was on the other side of the store from where he stole the violin. Being the master thief he was, it was not hard to steal something so simple from such a simpleton.

"Allright, so how do I play this?" He said to himself. He shrugged and held the violin to his neck like he had seen the people in the color box do. He held up the bow and ran it back and forth on the strings. A shrieking sound came from the violin and all the people in the store covered their ears and dropped to the floor.

"WHAT IS IT? IT MEAN TO PLAY LIKE THAT, IT COULD HURT YOUR FRIENDS' EARS!" Yelled Tea.

"WHAT DA HECK IS DAT NOISE? IT GIVES ME RAGE OF THE BROOKLYN VARIETY!" Yelled Joey.

"THE ALIENS ARE COMING FOR ME!" Yelled Tristan.

"THIS IS SO NOT SUPER SPECIAL AWSOME!" Yelled Yugi.

"AM I NOT IN ENOUGH PAIN ALLREADY?" Yelled person you had all forgotten about, Lexie.

Satisfied, Bakura walked out of the store, leaving all the shoppers screaming and Lexie with her broken leg.


	5. 61 In which Marik doesn't help at all

**GinnNekoChanAngel: Thanks Angel-kun! Ryou isn't in this chapter, but I have plans to put him in there when number 183 comes around. Melvin too!**

**Angelucie: Thanks Other-Angel-kun! Now with my leg fixed, I can continue the story faster! **

Ryou: Thank you for the carrots! I've been trying to eat healthy because Bakura uses my body and eats nothing but steak and sugar.

4Kids: _**ERROR ERROR ERROR! DOES NOT COMPUTE! DOES NOT COMPUTE!**_

_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, Target, the idea for this fic, or 99%.**_

_Asani nattara mukaeni yukuyo_

_Minna onajisa yowaikedo_

_Sokoni kabenante hontowa nainda_

_Kimi ga kanjiteruhodo!_

Marik and Bakura stepped into Target.

"Ha! Take THAT you _**EFF!**_ing door! You shall not have my hair this time! Who's smexy now?" Marik screamed at the door, and making a young child who happened to be standing next to him run away crying. Bakura smirked at this and beckoned for Marik to follow him deeper into the store.

Marik whipped out his list, which he keeps clenched between his buttocks, and read the next way. "173. Stare at a blank T.V for an hour and when somebody asks what you're doing, answer, 'Shh, this is my favorite show!' "

"Marik, you have to do them all today," Bakura declared, crossing his arms.

"WHAT? Why the frig should I do them all?" Marik yelled.

"Because yesterday I had to do them all by myself, with no help whatsoever," Bakura explained.

"But what about the author, the one who broke her leg?" Marik inquired.

"That never happened, it was all a myth!" Bakura yelled. But just then an anvil fell from the sky and landed just inches away from Bakura.

"_Say that again, Bakura._" The voice boomed. Bakura only looked up gulped.

"Well, I'll just be going now…" Marik said, and then took off running toward the TV isle. Row upon row of televisions of all sizes was all around. Marik found one that wasn't on and sat down to 'watch it'. After 10 minutes, Marik was mesmerized by the blank screen and continued to watch.

Tristan walked by and saw Marik watching the TV, and said "What are you doing?"

"Shut the _**EFF!**_ up! This is my favorite friggin show!" Marik yelled. In truth, Marik had been hooked on the show from the minute he laid eyes on it.

"HEY! This is my favorite show, too! I have all the seasons on DVD at home!" He declared, and sat down next to Marik to watch the 'Blank Screen Show'.

**Three hours later…**

"Bloody hell, Marik! You've been gone for 3 hours!" Bakura said to himself, tapping his foot on the floor. "I suppose I'll have to do the list myself today. _Again…"_ Bakura pulled put the list and read  
" '174. Stand on the conveyor belt at the check out with a barcode on your forehead.' Bloody hell, I'll look like a complete wanker…" Bakura whispered the last part under his breath, and walked off to the check out isle.

"Barcode, barcode, barcode, WHAT THE BLOODY RA IS A BARCODE?" He yelled.  
_/Yami, a barcode is that sticker on the items that the check out person scans. It has black and white bars on it./_ Said Ryou Bakura, Bakura's host. _\I knew that! But, for trying to help, I will make you're torture less painful tonight."__\ _Bakura mentally said. _/Hooray! Lashings of ginger beer for everyone!/ _Cried Ryou. And with that he returned to his soul room.

Bakura soon found a barcode and stuck it to his forehead. He climbed on top of the conveyor belt and sat there, arms and legs crossed and a pout on his face. Cathy the Cashier, who for some reason seems to be the only cashier yet the store seems to run smoothly, took one look at Bakura and yelled "THAT'S IT! I QUIT!" she yelled, and with that she stormed out of the store, leaving Bakura sitting there, stunned.

"Humph, I didn't even get scanned…" He muttered as he walked off. He pulled out the list again and read " '175. Start saying stuff like argetrargrehargenstartgen to everyone who walks in.' Ugh. I wish Marik were here…" He mumbled, and walked to the front of the store.

Bakura stood, leaning his back against a wall, and waited for people to come in. He spotted Serenity coming through the door. 'Bingo' he thought.

He took a deep breath and yelled "DERFINSHNERFINGORFINSLERB!" at her.  
She jumped 5 feet into the air, screaming "MMMMEEEEEEEEEP!"

Bakura laughed and ran off before Joey could come to his sister's rescue.

"Well, that should do it for today. I think I'll go get some steak at that new restaurant." Bakura declared. He seemed to have forgotten Marik was still there, and walked out of the store without him.

**Later…**

_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Where being evil is never debated!_

Bill slammed his hands on the desk, and yelled, "AGAIN, THAT'S THE WRONG JINGLE!"

Sorry…

_Bill the Manager in his office! Where being the manager is never... is never... um... stroffice!_

Bill turned around in his chair dramatically, and interlocked his hands.

"We have a problem, Ushio," Bill said.

"What is it? Being an ex-psychopathic greedy High-school student soon to be motorcycle driving cop of the law, it is my duty to help!" Ushio declared.

"Our only cashier, Cathy, has quit. We now have no one to man the cash register!" Bill explained. "It's time to call in our best. The person I thought I would never have to use…"

"Squidward?" Ushio asked.

"Ye- NO! Not Squidward!" Bill yelled.

"Spongebob?" Ushio guessed again.

"NO!" Bill screamed, frustrated.

"Hmmm, Mr. Krabs?" He guessed yet again.

"NO! WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE (bleep) UP SO I CAN TELL YOU?" He yelled at the top of his lungs.

Ushio was silent, and Bill continued. "We must call in…CARRY THE CASHIER!" He declared, with evil claps of thunder booming behind him.

Ushio gasped. "But sir! It's too dangerous! Don't you remember? She-"

"Of course I remember! But drastic times call for drastic measures." He declared, as the screen faded to black.

**And now for the stinger!**

Marik ant Tristan sat in front of the TV, eating popcorn which Tristan had bought from the food court when there was a 'commercial'.

"This show is amazing! I can't believe Harry ended up with Lisa! What a plot twist! Now how will Nancy wake up from her comma? She was only supposed to wake up with a kiss from Harry!" Marik yelled.

**(Line Break)**

**Crap, what is the big deal with Carry? What will happen to Marik? What is so great about the 'Blank Screen Show'? Will Nancy wake up from her comma and admit her love for Harry? Will Bakura order Rare or Medium rare? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT MORE!  
Don't forget to Read, Review, and vote on the pole at my profile!**


	6. 62 In which we all play a drinking game!

_**Angelucie: Your reviews are so funny! And yes, I think that it is enough to do a fanfic! Mind if I use it?  
**__Bakura: NO! I forbid you to send me to a Justin Beiber Concert!  
__**Who's the writer here, me or you?**_

_**Squarepotatoes: OMR! That means so much! I am really happy that you thought this story is good enough to act out in real life! You are **__**AWSOME**__**!**_

_**Dakota Ishtar: Thank you! I know, right? Which team are you? Team Nancy or Team Lisa?**_

_**Turbo Duel: OH NO! YOU RUINED THE SURPRISE! JK, thank you for the review!**_

_**Authors Note: Hey everyone! In this chapter, we will be playing the 333 ways drinking game! I recommend you use water or soda, because if you use alcohol you will most likely die. Here are the rules:**_

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or ''Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, Target, the idea for this fic, or 99%.**_

_Asani nattara mukaeni yukuyo_

_Minna onajisa yowaikedo_

_Sokoni kabenante hontowa nainda_

_Kimi ga kanjiteruhodo!_

"And then Harry made out with Nancy and woke her from her coma!" Marik yelled.

"Marik, for the last bloody time, I don't care about the buggering Black screen show," Bakura yelled.

"BLANK SCREEN SHOW! NOT 'BLACK SCREEN'!" Marik yelled back.

"MARIK! Focus on the priority! We are here to do your bloody list! Not to watch your ridiculous show!" Bakura yelled. Marik just pouted.

The twosome walked into Target. It was a full three days since they were last at the store. Marik had spent the last three days watching the 'blank screen show', which Bakura now found more annoying than 'My Little Pony'.

With a sigh, Bakura pulled out the list and read "176. Walk around in dirty cloths and eat all the produce like a bum," He turned to look at Marik, who gulped.

Ten minutes later Marik was dressed in… a stained white T-shirt and baggy gray sweatpants. Marik had no idea why Target was selling those clothes, but he didn't ask. He walked off towards the produce isle. When he got there, only Kaiba and Mokuba were there. 'Good' Marik thought 'No one of any value will see me in this.'

He walked around the isle, picking up some vegetables and shoving in his mouth. First was some carrots, then he ate some celery, before picking up a big yellow squash and chomping into it.

"Seto, that man is eating the food," Mokuba said, pulling on Kaiba's coat.

"SHUT UP MOKUBA!" Kaiba yelled and dragged Mokuba out of the store. Satisfied, Marik ran to the dressing room and changed back into his usual clothes, which he seems to somehow seems to have ten pairs of, seeing as he already ruined them at least six times already.

Bakura was waiting for Marik, who walked back to him with a smile.

"So, you came back this time, eh?" Bakura said.

"Oh shut up, Fluffy!" Marik yelled.

"Kiss my ass, Marik!" Bakura Commanded.

"But there's poop down there! Friggin poop, Fluffy!" Marik Replied. Bakura rolled his eyes and read the next thing on the list "177. Poke people and run away screaming, "Don't touch me!" "

"Aw, do I have too?" Marik whined.

"Yes, yes you do." Bakura referenced. With a sigh, Marik sulked away.

Marik continued to walk around the store, poking random people and yelling "DON'T _**EFF!**_ING TOUCH ME!" Just then he ran into Yami in the leather shoes isle. Marik sneaked up behind him and started poking him.

"Will you stop poking me?" Yami turned and asked, annoyed.

"DON'T FRIGGIN TOUCH M-" But he was cut off by Yami, who raised his hand and shouted-

_**MIND CRUSH!**_

Marik fell backwards and blacked out.

_**Ten minutes later…**_

Bakura stood in the middle of Target.

"Where the Bloody hell is Marik? How long can it possibly take that wanker to go around poking people? I'd better go find him," Bakura said, and then he walked off to find his partner in crime.

It took Bakura a good ten minutes of looking to finally find Marik, who was lying on the floor. Bakura rolled his eyes and started to shake Marik until he woke up.

"Huh? What happened?" Marik asked, confusedly.

"I think you got mind crushed," Bakura replied, unsympathetically.

"My friggin head hurts…" Marik muttered.

"Oh, no. No no no no no no no no NO! We will not be going home; you will not do this to me three bloody times in a row. Now get up, you have some more things to do," He said, yanking Marik to his feet.

"Fine, you're so mean to me, Kitty…" Marik pouted.

"Not a kitty." Bakura said. "178. Throw stuff on the floor and start yelling at an imaginary friend," Bakura read.

'Well, at least these aren't too painful.' Marik thought, walking off for the third time. He grabbed a toy car and threw it to the ground.

"Why would you _**EFF!**_ing do that?" Marik yelled.

"Yes you did! You're always doing this!"

"…"

"Yes you do! You think just because your imaginary you can do whatever the frig you want?"

"…"

"Oh don't you cry, DON'T YOU DARE CRY!"

"…"

"Okay honey, I forgive you this time. But you have to promise to be good from now on"

"…"

"Alright, I love you too." Marik finished his conversation and walked off, ignoring the strange glances he received. He found Bakura in the food court, eating some popcorn he most likely did not purchase.

"How'd it go?" Bakura asked.

"I think it went quite well, actually," Marik replied.

"Well, we're only at 1,010 words, so we had better do one more before going home," Bakura declared. Marik nodded in agreement. "179. Buy a carton of vanilla ice cream, run up to the cash register, tell the cashier you forgot your money, then start dancing like Napoleon Dynamite, screaming, "Where's my chap stick?" " Bakura looked at the list like it was crazy, than shrugged. 'Well, Marik'll be the one to do it' He thought.

_Ten minutes later…_

Marik had his Carton of ice cream and was waiting in the checkout line. For some reason all the customers in front of him were running away screaming. When it was Marik's turn, he placed his item on the conveyer belt and was about to yell that he forgot his money when he saw the cashier. It most defiantly was not Cathy. The _thing_ was six feet tall, fat, and ugly (Imagine Hobson as a girl).

"Carry check out item for pretty girl," The cashier, who was apparently named Carry, said.

"No no. It's all right. I-I don't even like ice cream!" Marik quickly said and ran away to find Bakura. Bakura was still conveniently at the food court.

"Bakura! There's this monster for a cashier! Come look!" Marik yelled.

"Marik, what the bloody hell are you talking about?" Bakura asked.

"Just come on!" Marik yelled, pulling Bakura to the checkout isles.

"Marik, I don't see anyth- HOLY (bleep) ON A (bleep) SANDWICH! What in the name of Zorc is that!" Bakura yelled.

"My name Carry! Me check items for pretty girls!" She yelled. Bakura just stared at her with an open mouth.

"I told you!" Marik yelled.

"You girls mean to Carry!" Carry yelled and started to cry.

"Psst, Marik. I think she's harmless. She's just really really ugly," Bakura whispered to Marik.

"You think? I suppose that could be true, just look at her! She's crying!" Marik whispered back. He turned to face Carry, "Hey Carry! Why are you working here at Target?" Marik asked.

"Me fill in for Cathy because she quit," Cathy said.

"Oh, I see. Well, good luck with your new job!" Marik declared, and then dragged Bakura out of the store.

"Thank you! By By to pretty girls!" Carry yelled.

"We're boys!" Marik yelled back.

_Later…_

_Bill the manager in his office!_

"Dammit Ushio! It didn't work!" Bill yelled.

"What was it supposed to do exactly?" Ushio asked.

"Carry was supposed to scare the two hooligans away! I mean, just look at her!" Bill yelled. "Perhaps these two simply are invincible…"

"Sir, may I make a sugg-"

"SHUT UP USHIO!"

**(Line Break)**

**There you go! Well, Carry failed. Shocker of the century. No stingers in this one, sorry.  
Stay tuned for the next chapter, Ryou and Melvin are in it!  
Don't forget to Read, Review, and vote on the pole at my profile!**


	7. 63 In which deathshipping doesn't happen

**Sorry for the long wait! I had final exams and stuff… And just a warning, I'm rating this chapter in the teens for a joke I make later. **

**sailorblaze****: Thanks for the review! Sorry for not making a Doctor Who reference, I couldn't find a place for it! I will do one, though.**

**EgyptianBlueEyes****: XD I hope you didn't use real alchohol!**

**BakuraMarikx****: Thanks!**

**Angelucie****: XDDD I love your reviews, they make me laugh!**

**GinnNekoChanAngel****: Wow, you did the drinking game… Cool! **

**Dakota Ishtar****: Oh, Dakota! You're so funny! **

**Drinking game (In this chapter, Marik's actions will be replaced with Melvin's, and Bakura's with Ryou's)**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or ''Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, Target, the idea for this fic, or Leather pants.**_

_I'm getting ready, my legs have been waxed  
Cause when we get them I am wearing your slacks  
Right on my touche  
Touch touche touche (Right on my touche.)  
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants  
Oooooooooooo~  
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants  
Ha-ha-hahaha Mwa-ha-hahaha  
We've got the leather pants!  
_

For the second time in the story, Ryou Bakura pushed his cart through the store. It was a little strange to him that all the people in the front of the store warned him to either not go in there or that there was a monster in there.

"It was a little strange to me that all the people in the front of the store warned me to either not go in there or that there was a monster in there." Ryou claimed, turning the corner. His cart crashed into someone on the other side of the corner, and the cart exploded.

"Who ran into me? Who's getting a HUG?" The person said.

'Bugger Bugger Bugger' Ryou thought. "Melvin? What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I'm filling in for Marik," Melvin yelled.

"Why?"

"The reason is not important. Where is Bakura?"

"He said he needed a break to plot his evil plans. He left this note," Ryou said, handing Melvin a note

"Melvin-

You are going to do part of the list with my host. If you physically harm him, I will tear off your (bleep) and shove it right up your (bleep). The last time you stabbed him I ended up in the hospital, so believe me when I tell you that I mean what I just said about your (bleep).

-Bakura," Melvin read.

"He scares me," Ryou said.

"Do you want a HUG?"

Ryou looked scared and used his puppy dog eyes on Melvin, who said "Those eyes are cute. Can I rip them out of the sockets and keep them?" Ryou looked terrified.

"So, foolish child, are we going to do this or not?" Melvin said, as all the deathshipping fangirls squealed.

"I guess, do you have the list?" Ryou replied, as all the deathshipping fangirls started to cry.

"Right here," He said, pulling out the list. " '180. Stare at people for a minute and then smile at them happily' Well, that won't do. You'll have to do this," Melvin said, looking at Ryou. Ryou gulped and nodded his head. He walked off until he found Yugi, who was shopping for a new pair of leather shoes. Ryou walked over to him and started to stare. It was a good 5 minutes until Yugi realized that someone was watching him.

He turned around and asked "Why are you staring at me?" Ryou just grinned and walked away.

"There you are. I was wondering what was taking you so long," Melvin greeted Ryou. Ryou, who started to cry on the inside, smiled as best he could.

"I suppose we'd better get on with it," He concluded. "181. Walk up to random people, give them a hug, and say, "I love you!" " Melvin smiled evilly as he read the last part. "I think I'll do this one!" He yelled. He ran off, leaving Ryou alone. 'I'd better get out of here. This will get ugly.' He thought, and raced out of the store.

On the other side of the store, Melvin looked around for good victims. He spotted the annoying employee, Frank, and smiled. He walked over to him, and gave him a big hug.

"I love you!" He yelled, as he drove a knife into Frank's back. Luckily for Frank he was a zombie, so the knife didn't harm him at all. Melvin released a very confused Frank, and was equally confused when he didn't see him dead at his feet.

"Well… This is awkward…" Melvin said. Frank nodded, and they both went their separate ways. And because I'm too lazy to write another part with Melvin hugging someone else, Melvin crossed off number 181.

"Where is Ryou? I'm so going to HUG him into oblivion when I see him again!" Melvin yelled, angrily. With a sigh, he read the next item on the list. "182. Go into a bathroom that is of the opposite gender of yourself and open the stalls saying, 'Ooh la la!' "  
So, with the intention of finishing this Ra-be-damned list, he headed off to the bathrooms. When he got there, he looked at both signs. One said women, and the other said men. With a bit of thought, Melvin decided to enter the women's bathroom. The bathroom smelled like flowers and pee-tinkle.

"This bathroom smells like flowers and pee-tinkle," Melvin acknowledged. He started opening all the stalls in the bathroom and saying "Ooh la la!" He received many strange glances from the women coming out of the stalls. After a while, one of the employees came and yelled at him for being in the women's bathroom.

"This is the women's bathroom. I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store, sir. You're making our female customers very uncomfortable," He said.

"Sure, but before I go, could I get a HUG?" He asked.

"A hug? I don't see why no- OH MY GOD! IT BURNS! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU COULD STAB SOMEONE WITH A TAMPON!" He yelled.

"I don't see why you can't stab someone with it, I mean it's meant for blood," Melvin said. He casually walked out of the store, leaving behind one less security guard.

**And now for the stinger!**

"Hey Pharaoh! Play that one about falling off a cliff!" A tanned Bakura said.

"Sure think, Bakura!" The Pharaoh yelled, letting go of the cliff he was hanging onto and plummeting into a dark abyss.

"I love it!" Bakura cried.

**(Line Break)**

**Hooray! New ASDF 5, new stingers! I was going to have Kikyo fall of a cliff, but I settled on using something from Yu-Gi-Oh. So anyway, now you see why I rated this chapter in the Teens. I really couldn't resist putting that joke in there XD BTW, I reset the poll on my profile, so you can all re-vote on what you want the new opening to be!**


	8. 64 In which Sailorblaze joins us!

**I reset the poll on my profile, so you can all re-vote on what you want the new opening to be!**

**sailorblaze****: Oh, stop your complaining! It's my story! And I was even nice enough to do all your requests! JK Fangz for da revow. Cn I have mu sweter bak npw (geddit?)**

**Dakota Ishtar****: OMR! I love it too! Leather Pants FTW!**

**BakuraMarikx****: OMR! You're so awesome! How did it go?**

**Angelucie****: Hell yea I'm an Inuyasha fan! I'm already almost finished with the final act! And I've only been watching it on YouTube for over a year 8P PM me and I'll tell you the whole story of why it took so long. WARNING: It will be very boring.**

**BlackRoseLover: Don't worry, neither of them will hurt my precious Ryou.**

Melvin: How am I a pervert?

**EgyptianBlueEyes****: Good, I wouldn't want one of my reviewers dead from alcohol poisoning now, would I?**

Bakura: I would.

**SHUT UP BAKURA! NOBODY CARES WHET YOU WANT!**

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or ''Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

Everytime John the Bazooka is shot, take **3** drinks!

_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, Target, the idea for this fic, sailorblaze, or Leather pants.**_

_I'm getting ready, my legs have been waxed  
Cause when we get them I am wearing your slacks  
Right on my touche  
Touch touche touche (Right on my touche.)  
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants  
Oooooooooooo~  
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants  
Ha-ha-hahaha Mwa-ha-hahaha  
We've got the leather pants!_

**At Target…**

"OH MY GOD! IT'S THE PSYCHOPATH THAT KILLED RYAN! RUN!" Yelled some unknown employee, and then he dashed away. Costumers at the store have become so used to this sort of thing that the entire yelling went unnoticed. Our two villainous heroes took out the 333 ways list and began to read "183. Shoot spitwads at people and then fall on the ground laughing hysterically,"

"Hey Bakura, should we shoot spitwads through a straw?" Marik asked.

"I do believe that that is how spitwads are shot. Go get some straws, and make sure that they are big enough. While you are at it, go get some paper, too," Bakura replied. Marik nodded and walked off. About five minutes later, Marik returned with some multi-colored jumbo straws and neon orange paper.

"Good, now who should we shoot?" Bakura asked, looking around.

"Oooo, how about that girl over there! The one with the purple hair and the bazooka!" Marik pointed out.

"Um, Marik? I don't think shooting someone with a bloody bazooka is a very good idea," Bakura pointed out.

"Oh, silly Kitty, I'm not shooting someone with a bloody bazooka. These are spitwads, remember? Friggin spit wads, Bakura!" Marik said, and then shot a spitwad at the mysterious person. It hit her in the back of the head, and she turned around with an angry expression on her face.

"Ah, the Doctor informed me that you would be here," She said, calmly walking towards them. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Sailorblaze."

"Sailorblaze? You mean the chick who originally wrote this? How could you cancel us? I FEEL SO FRIGGIN ABANDONED! Now we're being written by some annoying teenage girl with a yaoi fetish! HOW THE FRIG COULD YOU?" Marik yelled.

"Let me explain. You see, Ponyville was being attacked by Daleks, and they needed my help to save them. So I had to cancel, I couldn't risk Daleks breaking through the fourth wall and putting this world in danger," Blaze explained. "But now I am back, and Ponyville is safe. I came back because, well, I missed writing about you. And I thought that perhaps we could work together. My bazooka, John, and I could be very useful to you."

"I don't know…" Bakura said. He really wanted to think this through. The last time they had a guest, he had broke her leg and nearly took an anvil to the head.

Marik, on the other hand, yelled out "Of course you can!"

Sailor let out a squeal of joy and asked "What are we doing next?"

Bakura sighed and read the next thing on the list "184. Dress up as an old man and start stealing stuff"

"I'll do it! Oh, this is so exciting!" Sailor yelled, as she ran off to the old person section.

Bakura pulled Marik to the side and said "Was that a good idea? She seems, strange."

"Lighten the frig up, Bakura! It's not like you enjoy doing these things, she'll just do the parts that you would normally do," Marik informed Bakura.

Bakura's face indeed lightened up at the thought of this. "All right, but only for a few bloody chapters. I still want some amount of screen time."

Just then, Sailorblaze returned. She was wearing some blue overalls over her clothes, and a grey wig and mustache. In fact, she looked a lot like Grandpa Mouto. Only taller. "I'm ready to do this!" She cried out. She crept over to the toy isle, Marik and Bakura followed behind.

"Do you think I should have given her some advice on how to do this correctly? I mean, I am the bloody thief king," Bakura half said half bragged.

"Oh, just let her do it on her own, Fluffy. Let's see how good she is," Marik replied. Bakura rolled his eyes and turned his heat toward Sailor. Sailor was stuffing random things into her baggy overalls. She continued this for a good ten minutes before there was no longer any room in her overalls, and she looked very lumpy. She walked back to Marik and Bakura, but grabbed from behind by the same employee that had yelled at them in the beginning of the chapter.

"Excuse me old man, but you are planning on buying that merchandise, correct"

"What merchandise?" Sailor asked in her best old man voice.

"The merchandise you have shoved in those overalls, which are also store merchandise."

"Oh, that merchandise. Well, you see- FEAR MY BAZOOKA!" Sailor yelled, and her bazooka magically reappeared in her hands. She pulled the trigger, and the man was transported away into another dimension. "Nobody. Messes. With. The. Blaze," She said, and then blew the smoke off the tip of her bazooka.

"Wow. That was impressive," Bakura said.

"I think we have some interesting chapters ahead of us," Marik replied. The two looked at eachother and smirked.

_**And now for the stinger!**_

"Ha! They said I could never teach Mokuba to drive!" Kaiba yelled triumphantly.

"BIG BROTHER! I FORGOT HOW TO STEER!" Mokuba yelled as he grew closer and closer to the cliff in front of him.

"SHUT UP, MOKUBA!" Kaiba yelled. And with that, Mokuba fell off the cliff.

**(Line Break)**

**Yay! Sailorblaze is back! And Doctor who is referenced! Does that settle your needs? Sorry it's taken so long to update, I have accepted three beta jobs and I am getting ready to go to my grandma's house while my parents are in California. BTW, ****I reset the poll on my profile, so you can all re-vote on what you want the new opening to be!**


	9. 65 In which stuff happens

_**Y U GUYS NO VOTE ON POLL?**_

**BakuraMarikx****: So, did you upload it?**  
**sailorblaze****: ur wlcme gurl, fangz for da revow!**

**TurboDuel****: I saw it, too! But now it got removed D8 Along with episode 55, too! **_**EFF! **_**YOU (****株）日本アドシステム****ズ ****(****Ad Systems Japan Co., Ltd. AKA Random Japanese Douchebags)**

**Angelucie****: OMR, you should TOTALLY do a fic on that!**

**Dakota Ishtar****: Thank you!**

Bakura: I hate you.

**princess of hotdogs: Well, first off, let me say that you cannot have my e-mail. Why not just CREATE AN E-MAIL FOR YOURSELF? Why would you even review to say that? My guess is that you are some middle aged pedophile then preys on children to steal their information. And your pen name tells me that you are more than likely extremely obtuse.**

**Queen of Commas****: 8* (that is supposed to be a pucker face. Hey, how do you wake up Lady GaGa?)**

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or ''Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

Whenever John the Bazooka is shot, take **3 **drinks!

_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, Target, the idea for this fic, sailorblaze, or Leather pants.**_

_I'm getting ready, my legs have been waxed  
Cause when we get them I am wearing your slacks  
Right on my touche  
Touche touche touche (Right on my touche.)  
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants  
Oooooooooooo~  
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants  
Ha-ha-hahaha Mwa-ha-hahaha  
We've got the leather pants!_

"I did it! And I think it went quite well!" said Sailorblaze when she walked back to Marik and Bakura. She had removed the overalls and wig, so now she looked like her insane, purple haired self.

"That it did!" Marik cried. Bakura made a gagging sound and read "185. Run at people with a pitch fork"

Before Bakura could say anything, Marik yelled out "SAILOR AND I SHALL DO IT!"

Bakura stood confused for a second before he regained his composure "Why don't we all do it?"

"OKAY! LET US POKE PEOPLE WITH LARGE EATING UTENSILS!" Bakura yelled out, running to the medieval goods section.

"Why is he so happy today?" Sailor asked.

"How should I bloody know?" Bakura replied, irritably. Sailor held up her hands in in faux-defeat. And with that, they both followed their very gay friend.

**Meanwhile! In the Medieval Goods sectoolshed! (Oh, come on! That doesn't count!)**

Bakura, Marik, and Sailor all grabbed some pitchforks.

"Mine's pointier that yours, Bakura!" Marik mocked.

"No it isn't. They're exactly the same." Bakura replied, poking the tip of his pitchfork.

"Mine will always be figgin pointier! For I am Marik Sebastian Ishtar III!" He yelled.

"It doesn't matter whose is pointier. But if it must be argued, then mine is the pointiest of all," Sailor said, silencing the two boys. "Now, let's got jab some people with pointy, oversized eating utensils!" She yelled out.

"YEAH!" Marik yelled. He and Sailor ran off, holding their pitchforks high in the air. Bakura sighed and slowly followed after.

The threesome continued to run around the store, pointing their pitchforks at various shoppers, and running at them. Most of the shoppers would either run away screaming or pass out. After about 20 minutes, they got tired of their shenanigans and met each other back in the medieval goods section.

"What next?" Sailor asked Bakura.

Bakura took out the list, crossed off number 185, and read " '186. Start a fire, then sit around it with your friends in Indian clothes.' Ugh, I guess we have to go to the costume section as get some Indian clothes…" Bakura said.

"Why don't Sailor and I go get the costumes and you go get the stuff to start the fire, Bakura?" Marik asked.

"But, why don't I go with you, and Sailor go get the fire?" Bakura replied with a scowl

"Silly Kitty! It would be rude to leave our guest!" Marik said, pulling Sailor with him toward the costume section. Bakura stood there for a second; shocked the Marik had actually left him. But he shook his head and walked off toward the camping section.

**Twenty minutes later…**

Sailor, Marik, And Bakura all met up in the middle of the story. Marik and Sailor were already wearing their Indian costumes when they handed Bakura his. Thankfully, it was his size. 'Looks like Marik did something right for once,' Bakura though. He walked into the dressing room, and emerged shortly after, fully dressed in an Indian costume.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's light the fire!" Sailor yelled enthusiastically. Bakura growled at being ordered around, but did what he was told. He arranges some stones in a circle to make the barrier, and then laid some firewood,, some twigs, and finally some newspaper. He struck a mach, and dropped it into the well-prepared wood and tinder. As soon as the fire was lit, they all sat around it.

After a few minutes, Marik said "This is boring," Bakura and Sailor nodded in agreement. They all got up and put out the fire. They casually walked to the dressing room to change their clothes, leaving the ashes on the floor. Sailor walked into the grils dressing room, and Marik into the boys.

'Well, at least he's not following her in there…' Bakura thought to himself as he entered the dressing room to change into his clothes. Bakura emerged from the dressing room before Marik did, so he waited outside for him to finish.

"THERE'S NO FRIGGIN TOILET PAPER IN HERE!" Bakura jumped as he heard Marik yell out.

"Marik, we already did that one," Bakura said, annoyed.

"Did that what?" Marik asked.

Bakura sighed. "The one where you go into the dressing room and yell 'there is no toilet paper in here!' remember?"

"…This is a dressing room?" Marik asked.

Bakura's face turned to that of disgust, and he said "You didn't… did you?"

"Ummmm…" Was Bakura's only response.

_**And now for the stinger!**_

"**Hello Catapult Turtle!" Yami said to his trusty duel monsters card.**

"**Hello!" It replied back.**

**(Line Break)**

**Stay tuned for the next chapter! Something will… happen between Sailorblaze and Bakura…  
Oh yeah, I fixed up the previous chapters with some grammar mistakes. I mean I fixed some grammar mistakes that were in previous chapters. I didn't insert new grammar mistakes in, that would just be weird.**


	10. 66 In which Marik has a heart attack

**Queen of Commas****: You're sort of right! Also, I added some more drinking moments. Enjoy your alcoholic beverages!**

**sailorblaze****: I luv u 2! POPIPOPIPO POPIPO!**

**Angelucie****: You seem to be having fun… I once ate half a pound of skittles… Then I threw up a rainbow!**

**Dakota Ishtar****: ONLY PUSSIES DRINK WATER FOR A DRINKING GAME! Joking, thanks for the review!** **He is NOT very bright XD I was talking to him the other day, and he sure is a spaz! But, he's a sweet spaz! One Direction? You mean the Band? I really can't stand them, I'm more of a hard rock girl…**

**Scaevola2****: Thanks for the review! I passed on the message ;)**

**EgyptianBlueEyes****: Yes he is…**

Bakura: I am not!

**SHUT UP, BAKURA!**

**TurboDuel****: Thanks!**

Bakura: I'm no third wheel!

**Don't worry, Bakura. **

**VampiressBeauty20****: Thanks for the review!**

Melvin: I'll get right on it…

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or ''Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

Whenever John the Bazooka is shot, take **3 **drinks!

_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, Target, the idea for this fic, sailorblaze, SpongeBob, or Leather pants.**_

_I'm getting ready, my legs have been waxed  
Cause when we get them I am wearing your slacks  
Right on my touche  
Touche touche touche (Right on my touche.)  
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants  
Oooooooooooo~  
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants  
Ha-ha-hahaha Mwa-ha-hahaha  
We've got the leather pants!_

After Marik got… cleaned off, he, Bakura, and Sailorblaze all met in the food section to discuss their next action.

Bakura got out his list and read, "Number 187. Claim isle three as your 'Secret Lair'," Marik and Sailor looked at each other

"Shall we?" asked Sailorblaze.

"YES! And I shall be the dragon of the lair!" Marik declared.

"I don't know, I think Bakura should be the dragon," Sailorblaze suggested.

"And why the bloody hell is that?" Bakura said, eying Sailorblaze suspiciously.

"Because then Marik could be the Prince in shining armor, coming to save the damsel in distress from the evil dragon-kitty," Sailorblaze said, smirking slightly at Bakura. "Me being the damsel in distress."

Bakura clenched his fist, "That is the most-"

"Amazing Idea ever!" Marik interrupted. "I mean, look at me! I was born to be a friggin prince!"

"Really? Did you hear that, Bakura? Marik thinks the idea is the _most amazing idea ever_," Sailorblaze said in mock-surprise while increasing her smirk at Bakura. Bakura could feel his blood boil as his face turned a deep shade of red.

"Excellent, Bakura! You look just like a dragon about to breathe fire!" Marik yelled.

Bakura's eye twitched, "Look, let's just skip this one."

"We can't do that, fluffy-"

"Don't call me bloody fluffy!" Bakura yelled, crossing off number 187.

"Bakura, you can't just-"

"Shut up! I certainly don't need _your _opinion." Bakura interrupted Sailorblaze.

Marik knew better than to argue with Bakura when he was in one of his moods, and decided to go along with Bakura. He took out the list and read, "Number 188. Pretend that you're having a heart attack."

"I think you should do this one, Bakura," Sailorblaze said irritably.

"I disagree. I think our guest should have the fun," He shot back.

Marik glanced at Bakura, then to Sailorblaze, then back to Bakura, "Um, how about I just do it?" And with that said, Marik grabbed his chest and fell to the ground. "Oh, the friggin pain! The excruciating pain I feel in my heart is worse than a Rob Schneider film!"

Just then, Mokuba walked by, carrying a SpongeBob season one DVD, "Seto! That man is having a heart attack!"

"SHUT UP, MOKUBA!" Kaiba yelled for the umpteenth time, pulling Mokuba out of the store.

"But Seto! We haven't paid for my movie!" Mokuba cried.

"Screw the money, I have money!" Kaiba yelled.

Satisfied, Marik got up and checked number 188 off the list, "Number 189. Throw tomatoes at people and then tackle them,"

Bakura opened his mouth to speak, but he was silenced by the feeling of something wet and squishy collide with the back of his head. He reached around and grabbed the thing that had hit him. He stared at the bright red tomato in his hand, momentarily confused. His confusion quickly subsided when he was tackled from behind.

"Get the hell off me, you bloody wanker!" Bakura yelled.

"No! I'm only doing the list!" Sailorblaze yelled back.

"Well, why did you do it to me? You're supposed to do it to the shoppers, that's the point!" Bakura said, angrily.

"Fine," Sailorblaze said, getting off of Bakura. Bakura got up, confused as to why he was released so easily. His confusion faded when he saw Sailorblaze pick up a tomato and throw it into the back of Yami's head.

Yami turned around, "Who threw that at me?"

"He did," Sailorblaze casually said, pointing at Bakura.

'Bugger, bugger, bloody bugger!' Bakura thought. Yami walked over to him and held up his hand.

_**MIND CRUSH!**_

When Bakura regained consciousness, he was staring up at Marik. Marik had a worried expression on his face.

"Bakura! You're awake!" Marik yelled.

"Ugh… I got mind crushed for something I didn't even do…" Bakura said, holding his head.

"It's okay, I'm sure Blaze didn't know he would mind crush you!" Marik said, helping Bakura up.

"Yeah, I didn't mean to get you hurt!" Sailorblaze said in mock-sorrow.

"I think we should get you home…" Marik said, taking Bakura's hand.

Bakura, however, yanked his hand away, "No, Marik, I think we should do one more thing before we go our merry little way."

Marik scratched his head, "You do? But you just got mind crushed! Don't you want to rest? We can continue tomorrow."

"No, no, Marik, this cannot wait," Bakura turned to Sailorblaze, who looked just as confused as Marik, "190. Get on the intercom and calmly say, "Attention shoppers. I would like to inform you that the world is about to end, and that there's a sale on isle two."" Bakura narrowed his eyes.

"Bakura, what are you-" Sailorblaze tried to say, but was interrupted by Bakura grabbing John the Bazooka out of thin air and pointing at her.

"Attention, Sailorblaze, I would like to inform you that your world is about to end," Bakura said. He pulled the trigger and shot Sailorblaze with a rainbow colored laser.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Sailorblaze yelled. When the smoke cleared, she was gone.

"And also, there is a sale on isle nine," Bakura said, lowering the Bazooka.

"Bakura! You've gone crazy again! Don't friggin hurt me!" Marik yelled.

"No, Marik, I am very much in control."

"So, you mean… You sent Sailorblaze to another dimension on purpose?"

"That is correct. She kept getting on my bloody nerves, taking my screen time, being smug to me, trying to steal you from me-"

"Trying to steal me from you?" Marik interrupted. He smiled and then continued, "Aw, Bakura, were you jealous?"

"Wha- Jealous? Are you bloody joking? No! I… just meant that she was trying to replace me as your evil partner!" Bakura cried.

"Sure you did, Bakura," Marik said sarcastically.

"I bloody did!" Bakura yelled. He stomped out of Target. Marik smiled in Bakura's direction and followed him out of the store.

**(And now for the stinger!)**

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" Sailorblaze yelled as she fell to the ground. Rubbing her head, she looked around "Where am I? Where did Bakura send me?"

"HEY THERE! THIS WORLD IS PRETTY EXTREEEEEEEEME! TALK ABOUT POP FLYIN'! FEEL THE FLO AND GET SET TO GET DENT, MOTHER(bleep)ERS, YEAH!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU, BAKURA!"

**LINE BREAK**

**Well, there you have it! Sailorblaze had a good run, and she got to have a lot of fun! Please do not take this as an offence to her, it's really only supposed to be funny. Really, Sailorblaze is super nice and would never be mean to Bakura like that, but I wanted to add some romantic tension in there for all us thiefshippers (If ur nut a theefshipur, den FUK U) Have a nice day, see you all next week! Or longer, I'm going camping on Wednesday, so I won't be able to update until at least Saturday. And to that one anonymous reviewer (who's review I removed) who said something about me criticizing her friend's story, I'm sure that the story was terrible and that it deserved my criticism. And if you're going to insult me, please try to do so with proper grammar. Have a nice life!**


	11. 67 In which Marik sings My Little Pony

_**Angelucie**__**: I never quite follow what your reviews are about, but thanks for them! You see, reviews are like porn; they satisfy your urges. SO KEEP REVIEWING!**_

_Bakura: We all know how you need your porn…  
__**  
What's that supposed to mean?**_

_Bakura: Oh please, I saw you on the computer yesterday. Does the phrase "Fragment" ring a bell?_

_**I don't know, does the phrase "Shut up before I write you out of the story" ring a bell?**_

_Bakura: …good point…_

_**sailorblaze**__**: You're going to make out with some old British dude? Why am I not surprised… Next you'll be telling me that you and Rarity are going steady…**_

_**Anime-GuardianAngel**__**: Thiefshipping doesn't grow on you! It's a state of mind! Once you've found that part of your brain, there's no going back! **_

_**Scaevola2**__**: Nope. I get to do anything I want to her. Next I'll make her commit suicide on her best friend's doorstep…**_

_Bakura: How do you plan to do that?_

_**I'll get Marik to help me!  
**__  
Bakura: But how will he make her do that?_

_**Duh! Sailor's full name is Sailor Steve Blaze! **_

_**ArcherAzzure**__**: Thiefshipping? This is tendertown, motherEFF!er!**_

_Marik: Did you just make a sephirex joke? _

**TheAverIn****: I hope you don't plan on really drinking all that… Well, please note that I cannot be held responsible for any alcohol poisoning that may occur. Drink at your own risk.**

**Queen of Commas****: Mmmmmmm… Pixi Stix… And don't worry; Sailor has informed me of her departure back to the Whoniverse. But Marik has informed me of her death…**

**EgyptianBlueEyes****: Curse you! Don't you know that when you tell me to update as fast as I can it takes me two weeks? I BLAME YOU FOR MY ABSENCE!**

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, Target, the idea for this fic, My Little Pony, or Leather pants.**_

_I'm getting ready, my legs have been waxed  
Cause when we get them I am wearing your slacks  
Right on my touche  
Touche touche touche (Right on my touche.)  
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants  
Oooooooooooo~  
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants  
Ha-ha-hahaha Mwa-ha-hahaha  
We've got the leather pants!_

Marik and Bakura entered target. It had its usual smell of unemployment and past pranks that Marik and Bakura pulled. But mostly, it just smelled of popcorn from the food court.

Bakura pulled out his list and read, "Number 191. Beat your chest and run around screaming like Tarzan."

Marik said, "I'll do this one, kitty. You're chest is too brittle to be beat on. Unlike mine, whose sexiness needs to be shown off with rapid beats from my also-sexy fists!"

Bakura rolled his eyes, and Marik started to roar and beat his chest, "I am Tarzan! Feed me your friggin tar! Rooooaaaaaaarrrrrrr!"

"Marik, that not what Tarzan-"

"Give me your tar, fluffy!"

"I don't have any bloody tar!"

Marik paused for a moment, then said, "Then why did you tell me to be a tar eating monster? Do you want some tar?"

"I don't need any bloody tar! That's not what Tarzan even is, you- you-"

"I believe the word you're looking for is sexy god."

"Wanker!" Bakura yelled, then stomped off.

"Well, someone pee-tinkled on the wrong side of the litter box," Marik muttered, following Bakura.

Bakura irritably crossed off number 191 and read, "Number 192. Pretend to be Spiderman by running up walls and trying to save people."

"Why don't you do this, Bakura? You could use some happiness! Oh, Bakura! We should totally watch the happy happy joy joy song when we get home! That will make you happy!" Bakura ignored Marik and walked off.

"I'll teach you to be happy! I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs!" yelled Marik in the background.

When Bakura had walked to the other side of the store, he looked around for someone to 'save'. He spotted Tea shopping for black sharpie markers, and decided that she would be a fine person to 'save' as anyone.

He went and stood next to her, and, when she turned to look at him, began to climb the shelf.

"What are you doing? It's mean to climb up the shelves! Shelves are your friends, too!" Tea yelled.

Bakura ignored her and finished climbing to the top of the shelf, which was eight feet above the ground. Bakura said, "I will save you."

Tea said, "Save me? Hooray! That's what friends do for each other! Why, I can't tell you all the times my friends saved me! Actually, yes I can! It all started in the first grade when I got a crayon stuck in my vagina…"

Bakura, who was creeped out by this story that was now being told to him, decided that it was too late to save Tea and jumped down off the shelved, leaving Tea to tell her story to some poor, unfortunate passerby.

When Bakura returned to Marik, he crossed off number 192 and read, "193. Run around the store singing the My Little Pony theme song as loud as you can."

Marik interrupted, "OMG, Bakura! We should totally do a duet on this one!"

"Marik, I-" but Bakura was cut off when the lights in the store suddenly dimmed, and he and Marik were hit with a bright spotlight.

"Come on, Bakura! Let us sing!" said Marik, who was suddenly in a hot air balloon.

"_My Little Pony, My Little Pony,  
What is friendship all about?  
My Little Pony, My Little Pony  
Friendship is magic!"_

Bakura saw that a crowd of men in Brony T-shirts gathered around Marik, ready to sing the chorus.__

"(My Little Pony)  
I used to wonder what friendship could be.  
(My Little Pony)  
Until you all shared its magic with me.

"When I was young I was too busy to make any friends.  
Such silliness did not seem worth the effort it expends.  
But my little ponies, you opened up my eyes  
And now the truth is crystal clear, as splendid summer skies.  
And it's such a wonderful surprise.

"(My Little Pony)  
I used to wonder what friendship could be.  
(My Little Pony)  
Until you all shared its magic with me."

Here, Bakura noted that random little girls joined in to sing along.__

"When danger makes me want to hide, you'll Rainbow Dash to my side,  
Kindness is never in short supply, once smitten twice Fluttershy.  
For honesty no pony can deny, you are the Applejack of my eye,  
A heart that shines so beautiful, a Rarity to come by  
And you all make fun and laughter as easy as Pinkie Pie!

"(My Little Pony)  
I used to wonder what friendship could be.  
(My Little Pony)  
Until you all shared its magic with me.

"Our friendship's magic and it's growing all the time.  
A new adventure waits for us each day is yours and mine.  
We'll make it special every time!  
We'll make it special every time!"

And for this last part, it seemed that all the shoppers in the store, excluding Bakura, had joined in. __

"(My Little Pony)  
What a wonderful wonder friendship brings  
(My Little Pony)  
Do you know you're all my very best  
(Friends!) Friends, you're my very best  
(Friends!) Friends, you're my very best  
(Friends!) Friends, you're my very best  
(Friends!) Friends!"

"So how was that, Bakura?" Marik yelled, jumping in out of nowhere.

Bakura gasped and jumped, "Marik! Don't bloody sneak up on me like that!"

"Well, how do you want me to sneak up on you? Like this?" Marik asked. A duplicate of himself appeared on the opposite side of Bakura, tapping his shoulder.

"Gyar!" Bakura growled, "No! I don't want you to bloody sneak up on me at all!"

"Sorry," Marik said, as his duplicate faded into thin air.

"Come on, let's go."

"Buuuuuuuut Baaaaakuuuuurrrrrraaaaa!" Marik whined.

"Now, Marik."

"Fine, but we are totally watching the happy happy joy joy song together!"

**(And now for the stinger!)**

"**And that's the full story of all the times I was saved by my friends."**

"**M-m-m-make i-it st-st-stop…" said the random passerby who was curled up in fetal position on the floor.**

**(Like Break)**

**Soooooooo sorry for the gap in updating! I was busy, I really was! I had to go to an interview with my new school, I tried out for three different soccer teams, had to do two book reports, and it was my birthday! And also I'm lazy… Please review! I promise I will update a lot sooner! And for every person that reads and doesn't review, a Squidward dies! Review! Don't let the Squidward die out!**


	12. 68 In which Marik has a son

_**sailorblaze**__**: 1. Princess Sailorblaze the Steve Vocaloid Uxie. IN YO FACE!**_

_**2. Nobody really believes that. **_

_**3. Your profile picture shows him shaving/screwing his ear. His eyes are too big for his head, his hair is weird, and he looks like a dork. Why am I not surprised that you love him?**_

_**TheAverIn**__**: My Little Pony A La Mode!**_

_**Queen of Commas**__**: I like Squidward. Without him, the show is just about a bunch of idiots running around unchallenged!**_

_**TurboDuel**__**: SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER! SHUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!**_

_**Anime-GuardianAngel**__**: Ah yes, my young padwan. You have much to learn… But the force is strong in you, I can feel it…**_

_**Scaevola2**__**: It's okay to be crazy! The voices in my head tell me so!**_

_**EgyptianBlueEyes**__**: Thanks, I will! **_

_**Dakota Ishtar**__**: Dude, his name is Squidward. What part of that name makes to think that he's an octopus?**_

_**Angelucie**__**: I love smosh! They give me joy of the bowl haircut variety! **_

_**SerenePanic**__**: In due time, little one… In due time…**_

_**Trialman AKA Soma Cruz**__**: Hooray! I like making people laugh! **_

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, Target, the idea for this fic, or Leather pants.**_

_I'm getting ready, my legs have been waxed  
Cause when we get them I am wearing your slacks  
Right on my touche  
Touche touche touche (Right on my touche.)  
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants  
Oooooooooooo~  
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants  
Ha-ha-hahaha Mwa-ha-hahaha  
We've got the leather pants!_

Marik and Bakura entered target like they always do.

Bakura sighed, it looks like this is going to be another ordinary day of pranking the mindless citizens of Target- But wait! Bakura stopped to look around, startled by the huge amount of children that were flocking the store.

"What the bloody hell is…?" Bakura managed to say.

"Don't you remember, Bakura? All the children have gotten out of school! Just look at all these young children to teach our even ways!" Marik cried with a sparkle in his eyes.

Bakura sighed. If there was one thing he hated as much as the Pharaoh, it was children. The little brats with their bowl haircuts, and their disgusting habits of picking their nose and eating with their bare, unwashed hands, and their neverending cesspool of constant whining and complaining. How anyone could ever put up with such annoyance, Bakura would never know.

Bakura supposed he would just have to do his best to avoid them, so he took out his list and read, " '194. Walk around in a court jester costume' where the bloody hell are we to get a court jester costume?"

"I'm already wearing one!" yelled Marik, ripping off his clothes to reveal his costume. It was purple and black, alternating in a checkerboard pattern. He had a hat with two drooping points, each with a small bell at the end. His tights were black, and he had a pair of purple shoes that curved into a point on the toe.

Bakura stared in confusion, "How did you… You couldn't have hidden that under your clothes, you were wearing your bloody lavender top…"

"IGNORE ME!" Marik yelled, running off. And Marik continued to run around the store for several minutes, until the costume he was wearing caused him to overheat and dive into the freezer that held the ice. Bakura facepalmed and walked off.

Ten minutes later, when Marik was sufficiently cooled down and had changed into his normal clothes via ripping off his costume to reveal his clothes underneath, Bakura saw Marik approach him. But one thing that Bakura noticed is that Marik was holding the hand of a small, fair skinned child with blue hair.

"Marik, who the bloody hell is this child?"

"Oh, Bakura! You'll never believe this! I was walking past you, and this boy was just sitting abandoned at the food court! Friggin abandoned, I say!"

The child spoke up, "I was waiting for my mommy to finish buying food…"

"Quiet, Marik Jr." Marik said.

"My name is Nick," the boy, now dubbed Marik Jr., said.

"Well, seeing as you have been abandoned, I shall take it upon myself to raise you! You shall now be Called Marik Jr."

"Okay…" the small boy obliged.

Bakura pulled Marik aside, "Marik, what do you think you are doing? Get rid of that child, immediately."

Marik pulled away, "Don't you see, Bakura? We can raise Marik Jr.! We will teach him our evil ways!"

Bakura sighed and rubbed his temple. There really was no convincing Marik to abandon his plan. Irritably, Bakura read the list, " '195. Get a giant Christmas stocking and hop around in it like it's a potato sack on field day' It's the middle of June! Where the bloody hell are we to get a giant stocking?"

Marik pointed to a display in the middle of the store, which read "Hurry and stock up, only 182 days until Christmas! Ho ho ho!" On the display hung many large Christmas stockings on a chimney.

Marik walked up and pulled one off and stepped inside of it, "This is your first lesson, Marik Jr." MArik started to hop around in the stocking, receiving many strange looks from the shoppers.

Bakura felt an ounce of pity for the boy standing next to him. He kneeled down and said, "Run, little one. Run before it's too late."

The boy said, "But what about you?"

Bakura said, "It's too late for me."

The boy nodded and ran off. A few minutes later, Marik returned to Bakura. His smile faded when he saw the lack of a child next to Bakura.

"Where is Marik Jr.?"

"He died."

"… No! This cannot be! I'm a terrible father!" Marik fell to his knees and held his face to his hands.

Bakura rolled his eyes, "He wasn't your kid in the first place, Marik," But Bakura's lack of sympathy stopped when he saw that Marik was silently sobbing into his hands, "Um, Marik?"

Marik ignored Bakura and didn't move from his spot on the floor. Bakura could hear sobbing noises, and he realized that Marik really did want to raise his 'Marik Jr.'

"Bloody hell, Marik, stop crying. You're making a fool of yourself…"

Marik looked up, his face stained with tears, "No! You don't understand the bond we shared!"

"You had him for ten minutes."

"We still had a bond!"

"There will be other children to purloin and teach."

"None will ever be as special as Marik Jr."

And awkward five minutes passed until something was said. And surprisingly, it was neither Marik or Bakura to say anything. It was the mother of the boy that approached Marik. Marik's eyes widened when he saw Marik Jr. standing next to the woman.

"Marik Jr., you're alive!" Marik cried.

"Mommy, that's the men!" Marik Jr. cried.

The woman glared at Marik, and took a small red canister out o her purse.

"Hey, what's tha-" The woman sprayed the contents of the canister into Marik's face, "Aaaaah! Gods, that's friggin painful! Make it stop! !" Marik yelled in pain. Bakura realized that the contents of the canister were pepper spray, and quickly stepped back to avoid getting sprayed as well.

Satisfied, the woman took Marik Jr.'s hand and led him to the exit of the store. Marik continued to roll around on the floor until the pain of the pepper spray subsided. Then, he yelled at Bakura, "Why did you just stand there and let that happen?"

Bakura replied, "I didn't know what to do."

"Well, this was a waste of a day. We got only two things done, I lost my child, and I got friggin pepper sprayed!" Marik yelled, pointing to his eyes for added effect.

"Well, we'll just have to do extra tomorrow."

Marik sighed, "Fine. But you _so_ owe me!"

**(And now for the stinger!)**

"**Mommy, I wanna rule the world someday!" yelled Marik Jr. in a high pitched voice.**

**(Line Break) **

**Long wait, lack of funniness. I suck. Definitely not my best chapter. Sorry! Review to give me comfort! **


	13. 69 In which Tea uses the Elder Swear

_**Sailorblaze: 1. Dammit!**_

_**2. You could adopt. (And I'm just teasing you)**_

_**3. I'm still going to say that he's screwing his ear. Because it brings me joy. **_

_**SerenePanic**__**: Yay! I'm funny! I like bringing joy to people! And it depends, how old are you? No, it's not. I don't really like them, either XD**_

_**Trialman AKA Soma Cruz**__**: I'm glad you think so! Thanks!**_

_**Anime-GuardianAngel**__**: Yeah…**_

_Marik: I'm not gay! I'm SO going to change his name to Florence Steve Bakura when this is all over!_

_Bakura: You will do no such thing. _

_**ArcherAzzure**__**: Wait, you mean you don't carry pepper spray? YOU'RE WEIRD!**_

_**Scaevola2**__**: Un-unfunny! That's like, funny squared! My story is funny squared!**_

_**FangandIggyRule**__**: I don't think that will ever happen…**_

_**Bakura: You're bloody right it won't!**_

_**EgyptianBlueEyes**__**: You know what? I'm just going to say that every chapter sucks so that I can get complimented by the reviewers 8D Thanks!**_

_**Angelucie**__**: I like Charlie the drunken Guinea Pig! I've been trying to get my guinea pig to act like him! But then my Guinea Pig blew up.**_

_**Also, Sesshomaru would NEVER show that much emotion. **__**Ever.**__** It just wouldn't happen, man.**_

_**GinnNekoChanAngel**__**: WHAT? I DON'T YELL AT MY REVIEWERS! CAN'T YOU TELL! NEVER DO I EVER YELL! DON'T SAY I YELL OR I'LL CRY BIG, JUICY TEARS OF BLOOD AND PAIN AND THEN I'LL DIE AND IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT!**_

_**I choose to take that seme thing as a compliment. I took the quiz and got uke, though. And yes, my tendershipping stories are quite depressing. I take pride in killing Bakura though.**_

Drinking game:

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

**_I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, Target, the idea for this fic, Esper Roba, Call me Maybe, Phantom of the Opera, PotterPuppetPals, or the Elder swear._**

_I challenged you to a duel  
There you were playing the fool  
Thinking that you looked so cool  
But you were in my way  
I take a card from my deck  
I'll beat you in just a sec  
There's sweat pouring down from my neck  
Because you're in my way  
Your Thousand Dragon  
Won't stand a single chance when  
Jinzo starts a cranking  
What did I just tell you Wheeler?_

(Chorus)  
Hey I just met you  
And this is crazy  
But I'm Esper Roba  
Would you like this baby? x9001

Marik and Bakura entered target. Marik had recovered from his past day, and was happily bouncing around, earning an annoyed sigh from Bakura.

"Number 196. Build a wall out of stuffed animals," Bakura read.

"Yes! Come on, Bakura!" Marik yelled.

Marik and Bakura walked to the toy isle, and Marik started grabbing all the stuffed animals and aligning them so that they were all stacked on top of each other. Every once in a while, the wall would crumble, and Bakura was forced to help Marik stop the wall from collapsing and suffocating them both under a mountain of felt and cotton. Marik moved from horses, to dogs, to cats (which Marik pointed out to look almost identical to Bakura) until he reached the teddy bears. Marik and Bakura reached to grab the teddy bears, but something wasn't right. All the teddy bears had glowing red eyes, and were chanting, "Hail Satan! Hail Satan! Hail Satan!" together, as if Satan was the equivalent of Big Brother from 1984.

"What the frig?" Marik cried.

"Perhaps it's best we leave the bloody teddy bears be. I think our wall is big enough," Bakura said, irritably.

"Um, yeah. Whatever you say," Marik agreed, looking with confusion and feer at the teddy bears.

When Marik was gone, Bakura whispered to one of the teddy bears, "Good one, Ted. That was bloody brilliant!"

"Sure thing, Bakura!" Ted said with a wink. Bakura nodded and walked away.

When Bakura returned to Marik, Marik said, "Come on, Fluffy! Read the list!"

Bakura looked at Marik suspiciously, "Why are you so happy?"

Marik looked dumbfounded, "I'm not happy. I'm anxious."

"Okay then, why are you anxious?"

"Because haven't been doing the list very well recently. We haven't gotten much done. We need to catch up!"

Bakura nodded in understanding, "197. Put on a cape and run around singing the Phantom of the Opera."

"Bakura! Phantom of the Opera is a duet!"

"But, you're not seriously expecting me to-" Bakura was cut off by Marik throwing a cape at him.

"Come on, Fluffy! Everyone wants you to sing!" Marik yelled.

With a sigh, Bakura put on his cape. Music started pouring out of all the speakers.

(Bakura)  
_No more talk of darkness  
Forget these wide eyed fears  
I'm hear  
Nothing can harm you  
My words will warm and calm you  
Let me be your freedom  
Let daylight dry your tears  
I'm here with you, beside you  
To guard you and to guide you  
_  
(Marik)  
_Say you love me  
Every waking moment  
Turn my head  
With talk of summertime  
Say you need me with you  
Now and always  
Promise me  
That all you say is true  
That's all I ask of you_

(Bakura)  
_Let me be your shelter  
Let me be your light  
You're safe  
No one will find you  
Your fears are far behind you  
_  
(Marik)  
_All I want is freedom  
A world with no more night  
And you always beside me  
To hold and to hide me_

(Bakura)  
_Than say you'll share with me  
One love one lifetime  
Let me lead you  
From your solitude  
Say you need me  
With you  
Here beside you  
Anywhere you go  
Let me go too  
Christine  
That's all I ask of you  
_  
(Marik)  
_Say you'll share with me  
One, love one lifetime  
Say the word  
And I will follow you  
_  
(Marik and Bakura together)  
_Share each day with me  
Each night, each morning  
_  
(Marik)  
_Say you love me_

(Bakura)  
_You know I do_

(Marik and Bakura together)  
_Love me  
That's all I ask of you  
Anywhere you go, let me go too  
Love me  
That's all I ask of you_

The song ended, and everyone in the store cheered.

"Bakura! That was fun!" Marik yelled.

Bakura was blushing madly, and dragged Marik to the other side of the store.

"What's wrong, Bakura? I thought you liked Phantom of the Opera."

Bakura chose to ignore Marik, and read, "Number 198. Yell curse words at people."

"SHUT THE _**EFF!**_ UP, BAKURA!" Marik yelled at Bakura.

"No, you shut the bloody _(bleep)_ up, you buggering bastard!" Bakura yelled back.

Marik and Bakura continues their onslaught of cursing, aiming it at every person they saw. Pretty soon, after a fit of crying from both Yugi and Tristan, Tea came over to scold Marik and Bakura for being so mean to their friends.

"You shouldn't swear! It can hurt your friend's feelings!"

"I don't give a (bleep)ing (bleep) about your buggering friendship!" Bakura yelled.

"Yeah! Your friggin friendship is of no concern to us!" Marik added in.

This made Tea very angry, and she cried out, "Listen here you sons of a (bleep)ing (bleep)! Friendship is the most important (bleep)ing thing ever! It brings you closer together! And if you can't see that, then you two are a (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) Lora Nimson (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) agnitem verium (bleep) (bleep) treragunium (bleep) hippopotamus (bleep) (bleep) Democratic (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) Daniel Radcliffe (bleep) (bleep) with a bucket of (bleep) (bleep) in a castle far away where no one can hear you (bleep) soup (bleep) (bleep) with a bucket of (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) Mickey Mouse (bleep) (bleep) a stick of dynamite (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) magical (bleep) ALAKAZAM!" when Tea finished her rant, she was breathing heavily. Her face was red with anger, and she stomped away.

Marik and Bakura just stood there in shock.

**(And now for the stinger!)**

**Dumbledore: "I thought I told you not to use that swear!"**

**Harry, Ron, and Hermione: "Neville told it to her!" **

**(line break)**

**Did you like that chapter! I bet you're drunk now! If not GET BACK UP THER AND TAKE A DRING FOR EACH OF THISE BLEEPS, YOU PANSY!**

**And in other news, darksideincorperated posted a new video.**

**I'm not sorry!**


	14. 70 In which Marik gets married

_**Scaevola2**__**: It was a strange chapter, but then again aren't they all? The drinking thing is a joke, I really don't expect you to do anything with it except have yourself a good laugh! You see, I'm what professionals call, an 'idiot'. Oh, and it wasn't my parody, it was LK's.**_

_**SerenePanic**__**: Why yes, yes it is! Dude, you're the same age as me! Maybe we're, like, secret twins who were separated at birth! And now that we've met, we have to save the world from the invaders! Yes, that must be it! WE MUST DO THIS THING! FOLLOW STEPHANO!**_

_**Anime-GuardianAngel**__**: Agreed. Next Ryou cornering you in a dark alley holding a butcher's knife will be the last thing you see.**_

_**Trialman AKA Soma Cruz**__**: I loved the new episode! Well worth the wait! But then 4kids removed it, the chodes. And did you watch it dubbed or subbed? **_

_**EgyptianBlueEyes**__**: Yes, and it was a love song none-the-less! Lol, it must have been!**_

_**Queen of Commas**__**: Oh, I don't think there will be a kiss soon ;)**_

_**TheAverIn**__**: Neither did I. And I **_**wrote**_** the story!**_

_**Angelucie**__**: Never give angel drinks. Ever. It's worst then the skittles you gave her last time! Why must you egg her on?**_

_**sailorblaze**__**: Well, EB had to go to Neville's birthday party. I think you can see where this is going.**_

_**Yin Yang Zodiac Girl**__**: I really have no idea 8/ There are probably a lot that I don't know.**_

_**RandomSpazz-chan**__**: Thanks! **_

_**Tea: That's mean to your friends to say that!**_

_**Jaden and Cyrus: SHUT UP!**_

**Drinking game:**

**Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!**

**Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!**

**Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!**

**Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.**

**Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!**

**Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!**

_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, Target, the idea for this fic, balls, Iris Taishou, or popipo/vegetable juice.**_

**poppi poppi po poppi po- ×11  
poppi poppi po poppi  
pi ――――――――――――――――――**

**saa nome omae SUKI daro?**  
**yasai juice**  
**watashi ga kimeta ima kimeta**  
**dakara nonde watashi no**  
**yasai juice**  
**kakaku wa ni-hyaku yen!**

**soiya! soiya!**  
**do say do say x2**

After they had recovered themselves from Tea's shocking rant, Marik and Bakura were ready to get on with the list. Bakura pulled it out and read, "Number 199. Knock down as many displays as you can."

Marik yelled, "Let's start with ball display!"

"Why?" Bakura replied, wondering about his partner's sudden attraction to balls.

"Because when people try to chase us they will trip over all the balls, and we can get away faster!" Marik replied, proud of his good idea.

Bakura shrugged, "Okay then, let us go play with some balls."

And so, Marik and Bakura casually walked to the toy section, which, to Marik delight and Bakura's nonchalantness, Target was having a sale on balls, so rows and rows of displays with balls of all sizes spanned the mass of the isles. Marik, whistling so not to bring attention to himself, walked over to the displays and started to grab and pull all the balls out of the floor.

"Bakura! Look at all the friggin balls! They're everywhere!" Marik cried with a sort of childish glee.

Bakura decided that he had better keep Marik on track, lest his childish instincts take over and he forgets everything besides playing in the mass of balls, "Marik, keep on bloody Target."

"But we are in bloody Target, Bakura!" Marik replied.

Bakura sighed, "Just focus on making a mess with balls so that we can get done with this ridiculous list faster and I can go back to my usual evil ways."

"Well, you're just going to be a friggin downer on everybody! Come on, play with the balls!" Marik said, grabbing a large ball and thrusting it into Bakura's face.

"Marik, I'm not interested in your balls," Bakura said. Bakura, being the more perverted of the two, realized immediately the implications of the words he had just said. His face started to flush a shade of pink, and he turned away so that Marik could not see.

Unfortunately, Marik did see, "Bakura, why is your face all red?"

"It's-it's just where your stupid bloody ball hit me in the face. It left a mark on my face."

"Oh, I see. My balls were too hard for you."

Bakura's face was now scarlet as he quickly made his way to the other side of the store. Marik smirked mischievously after Bakura was out of site, "Ah, who's he kidding? We all know he loved my balls," Marik chuckled, knowing the full meaning of the words, before he got up to follow Bakura, leaving poor Frank the work of cleaning up.

When the two had met back up again, Bakura proceeded to read what was next on the next on the list," Number 200. Go up to a random old guy with white hair and say, "I want Bratz for Christmas! Thank you Santa!" and then give him a hug and run away."

Marik immediately spotted Grandpa Motou, shopping for Black Luster Soldier trading cards. Marik snuck up behind him, all the while the mission impossible theme song started to pore from the music speakers. Marik tapped on Grandpa's shoulder, and when he turned to look yelled, "I want bratz for Christmas! Thank you Santa!" Marik gave him a big, non-murderous hug and ran away.

Grandpa yelled back, "Okay, sonny!" and took out his good/naughty list and wrote bratz next to Marik's name. Unfortunately for Marik, he seemed to be on the naughty list.

Marik returned to Bakura, flashed him a thumbs up (And Bakura flashed the bird behind his back, unbeknownst to Marik), and bid Bakura to read the next item on the list, "Number 201. Dress up in a super villain costume and then go around the store yelling, "MARRY ME!" to random people."

Marik, with a tone of doublepluspride, proclaimed, "Well, since I am already the best and most sexy super villain of all time, I don't need to dress up in a costume!"

"Marik, I don't think that a good-" Bakura tried to warn him, but it was no use. When Marik was in one of his prideful moods, it was impossible to persuade him of anything but his own sexiness.

Marik walked over to a young, blonde, teenage girl who was shopping for feminine needs. He tapped her on the shoulder and when she turned to look at him, he yelled, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

Unfortunately, the girl squealed in delight and yelled, "Oh my gosh! Yes! Yes, I'll marry you!" she let out another squeal and started to spin around in circles. Before Marik could make his escape the girl grabbed his hand and started pulling him out of the store.

"Wha-wait! I don't even know your name!" Marik yelled.

"Oh, it's Iris! Iris Taishou! Oh, we're going to live forever together in a fancy mansion and have Ninja Jedi children!" Iris cheered as they both paraded out of the store.

Bakura just stood there, open mouthed. He quickly regained his composure and thought, 'Gods, how the bloody hell am I going to get Marik out of this one?"

**(Line Break)  
Didja like that chapter? I did, I think I'm finally getting back into gear! Sorry for the long wait, I had so much to do! School's almost back in, I started soccer training, and I've been addicted to PewDiePie! Please Review, it will make me happy!**

**Fun Fact: The character of Iris Taishou actually exists in real life! She's a friend of mine, go check out her fanfiction account: u/2716163/Iris_Taishou  
And get this: she and Marik are actually getting married! I dunno how it happened, I gave her Marik's e-mail and she and him really hit it off… They even both told me that they were going to have Ninja Jedi children! Seriously, just PM her and ask her! I'm not joking about this!**

**In other news, darksideincorperated's video was removed and cardgamesftw uploaded episode 56. **


	15. 71 In which Marik is not married

**sailorblaze****: SAILOR! Y U NO USE WORDS I KNOW?! Just kidding, I know it now 8P And you're right!**

**TheAverIn****: Yep, that's definitely my words. You can copy and paste! Congratulations!**

**DarkspiritYami****: I love breaking the fourth wall by bringing real people into my stories 8')**

**RandomSpazz-chan****: Marik likes rubies, not diamonds. **

Bakura: Shut up! Don't bloody tell her that!

**Angelucie****: Why do I think your cousin was right? Justin Beiber and Twilight. Still a better love story than…oh wait…**

**Iris Taishou****: You see how realistic my mind is? I MAKE SENSE! That's why I always imagine you as a blonde with kitty ears. I think it's fitting. **

**The Real Rainbow****: Thank you for carrying on the message ^_^**

Marik: I'm not gay!

**Scaevola2****: *Nods with you* STEAKOUT!**

**EgyptianBlueEyes****: Now you're about to know! And I like making Bakura blush, I always think of him as the uke in the relationship.**

Bakura: Hey!

Marik: What relationship?

**SerenePanic****: I'm always strange. And then cardgamesftw got banned… **

**AtomicPringels****: I like that too! …I sound like Dora the Explorer… Which, coincidentally, is the umbrella pattern Marik was using in that raindrops part! …I think…**

**Yin Yang Zodiac Girl****: Simple. You throw it at the ground and miss. Same as flying. Now here's one for you: If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how ling would it take a chameleon with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle? **

Melvin: I also have just one question: Could I get a hug?

**Kitsune Puroisen: I don't quite know how to respond to that…**

**TurboDuel: Hehe, you said come X3**

**Forever Evil: Juudai can be pretty badass in the fourth season. **

**GinnNekoChanAngel****: I like cheese X3 Can I be Colby Jack? That's my favorite cheese!**

**zukofan2005****: You're welcome! Thanks for reading!**

**SouthernKittyGal****: You're welcome! Thanks for reading!**

**Uqluiorra12345****: That, my friend, is yugioh abridged. Feel free to take a second to let it all sink in XD**

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, Target, the idea for this fic, balls, Iris Taishou, or popipo/vegetable juice.**_

**poppi poppi po poppi po- ×11  
poppi poppi po poppi  
pi ――――――――――――――――――**  
**saa nome omae SUKI daro?**  
**yasai juice**  
**watashi ga kimeta ima kimeta**  
**dakara nonde watashi no**  
**yasai juice**  
**kakaku wa ni-hyaku yen!**

**soiya! soiya!**  
**do say do say x2**

Bakura was driving the Marikmobile, trying to locate the car which contained Marik and Iris, whom he had lost in traffic. After about two hours of driving around, which took him to many strange places and involved being chased by many angry skinny dippers, Bakura finally located the wedding chapel in which Marik and Iris were getting married.

'How the bloody hell did they manage to book a wedding chapel, get it all set up, and invite guests all in two hours?' Bakura thought as he entered the building. He walked the hallways of stain-glass windows displaying biblical images, which Bakura chose to ignore because the entire religion just confused him. He soon came upon two rooms, and in one he found Marik dressed in a purple tuxedo.

"Marik, what in the name of buggery going on?" Bakura blurted out.

"I have no friggin idea, Bakura! One minute I'm tossed into a car and hugged very tightly by that crazed flower girl, then she's shoving me into this building, and now I'm wearing this horrible outfit! I hate it, Bakura, I need my clothes to show my midriff at all times! With abs this good, you have to show them off!" For added effect, he motioned to his abdominal area.

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Well, how do you plan to get out of this?"

Marik thought for a second, and then said, "Use the list, Bakura! The list is the only way!"

"Why can't I just send your bride to the shadow realm?" Bakura asked.

"THE LIST!" Marik yelled.

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Fine." He took out his list and was about to read the list when Marik and Bakura both heard a yell.

"Mari-poo? Where are you?" Iris called in a sing-songy voice. "Oh, there you are! Come on, sweetie, I need your help to pick out a dress!" She took Marik by the hand and led him out of the room, ignoring Bakura's cries of protest. Bakura was just able to catch Marik mouthing to him, 'help me!'

With a loud sigh, Bakura realized that, once again, he would have to do all this alone. He continued to read the list aloud, as he had grown accustomed to the last 71 chapters, "Number 202. Scream, 'GET OUT OF MY YARD!' to everyone who walks by you."

Bakura walked outside to the large yard in which the marriage ceremony was to be held. There was a large gazebo surrounded by flowers, which Marik and Iris were to stand under and say their useless vows, and many chairs were set up perpendicular to the gondola for the guests. Bakura, for a second, got the strange urge to burn down the entire lot, and watch as the flames engulfed his surroundings and destroyed them, as they had done so many years ago. He would burn the flowers and the gazebo and the chairs and watch as all his current troubles melted away, and he would laugh as the inferno engulfed the building, then the entire city, and eventually the world would be a crimson flare like something even Dante couldn't imagine.

A large crowd of people snapped Bakura out of his pyro-maniacal thoughts, and he quickly regained his head. It wasn't often he let his mind wander, and he wondered for a moment what had caused him to do so, but he quickly shoved the thoughts to the back of his head and decided to focus on the task at hand.

As the crowd of people passed him, Bakura yelled at the top of his lungs, "GET OUT OF MY BLOODY YARD! GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!"

Shocked, some of people fled the area in a panic. Many just glanced his way and tried their best to ignore him, and one, who bore a great resemblance to Iris herself if she was in male form, just flipped him off. Inwardly, Bakura smirked to himself. A few were gone, and he just had to scare off a few more. He was quite good at scaring people off, which proved useful at times.

Bakura took out his list and read, "Number 203. Scream, "Look! Someone's stealing an old lady's purse!" and when they look away, take all the stuff in their cart and throw it around the store shouting "I'm a terrorist!" Bakura smirked. With a bit of altering, this could be just the thing he needed to take him much closer to his goal.

Bakura went over to the crowd of people that had spread out around the lot, mingling with one another. He made his way to the middle, and yelled "Look! Someone's stealing all the wedding gifts!"

Everyone looked away at the wedding gifts, and Bakura took his chance to take anything he could grab and toss it up in the air. Cake, tarts, various food, pocketbooks, purses, a small child, flowers, chairs, a poodle, and many other things were now desperately trying to be caught by the guests, and Bakura's ear-piercing screams of "I'm a terrorist!" drove even more panic as more than half the guests ran away in fear for their lives of the so-called 'terrorist.'

Bakura quickly made his getaway before anyone could screw their head back on and catch him and throw him out of the chapel. Inwardly laughing his butt off at his shenanigans, he peered around the corner to admire the chaos he caused. Now only a quarter, if that much even, remained at the wedding. 'One more should do it,' he thought, as he read aloud the list, " the spray paint and paint all the people around you."

Luckily, Marik always kept a full stock of spray paint in the Marikmobile, in case they ever felt the urge to spray paint crude words and images on the walls of the Game Shop owned by Yugi and Grandpa Motou. Bakura grabbed 4 full cans of paint, and returned to the gusts not 10 minutes before the wedding was scheduled to start. He gave two cans a shake with both hands, and started to spray random people around him. One woman's dress was now decorated with purple stripes, a man's face was bright orange, and almost all the other people were now colored in one way or another.

Screams of anger and surprise filled the lot, and there was a trample of feet caused by the people trying to flee the site of the deranged man covering people with sprayable paint. Pretty soon, the entire lot was empty save Bakura, the chairs had been overturned, and the gazebo was now many different colors than before.

Satisfied with his work, Bakura made his way out of sight as to see the look on Iris's face when she saw the damage he had done. A few minutes later, Marik and Iris appeared. It seems that she and Marik had decided upon a strapless purple dress to be Iris's outfit.

"We're here!" Iris cried, raising her arms over her head in a supermodel-like fashion. Her hands quickly dropped to her sides when she surveyed the damage done to the lot. After a minute she cried, "Oh my gosh! I love it!"

"WHAT?!" Marik and Bakura cried simultaneously.

"I love it! It's a futuristic apocalypse theme to show that when the aliens come and invade and destroy the earth, our love will still last!" Iris cried in glee, hugging a very shocked Marik. Marik shot Bakura a 'please help me' look, and tried to pry Iris off of him. Unfortunately, she had an iron grip.

Bakura was speechless, how could one of his plans fail? They never failed! He never failed, and he was not about to start now. He thought for a moment, then got an idea. An incredibly embarrassing idea that he would make Marik pay for dearly, but an idea. He walked over to Marik and Iris, and yelled, "What are you doing with MY boyfriend?"

"Excuse me?" Iris said, letting go of Marik.

Bakura quickly took Marik possessively into his arms, "My boyfriend, what are you doing with him?"

Iris's jaw dropped wide open, "Marik! You've been cheating on me?"

Marik struggled for words, "But he isn't-we aren't-we never have-"

"Oh, so now you DENY it, you bloody wanker?" Bakura cried in outrage. "We've been dating for ten years!" Bakura slapped Marik across the face and stormed off.

"I can't believe this!" Iris screamed at Marik, then slapped him on the opposite side of his face that Bakura slapped him on, and stormed off.

"I can't believe it either," Marik cried in a mix of pain and shock. After a few minutes of standing there, trying to comprehend what just happened, Marik dragged himself back to the Marikmobile.

"About time, you buggering wanker," Bakura said, irritated.

"What the heck was that?" Marik blurted out.

"It was me saving your ass, that's what it was," Bakura replied.

Realization struck Marik, and he sighed in relief, "Good, now it's all over. But, was the slap really necessary?"

"Aw, did I hurt you?" Bakura said in mock-sympathy.

"N-no! You hit like a girl!"

"You'd have to have flirted with girls to know what they hit like," Bakura shot back, starting the car.

"I've flirted with tons of girls!" Marik argued.

"Zoo animals don't count."

"Oh! Bakura! We should go to the zoo!" Bakura sighed and drove off.

**(And now for the stinger!)**

**Iris broke up with Marik, and went back to her normal life of voodoo and witchcraft. She is now happily married to the Chuckie Doll.**

**(Line break)**

**I DON'T CLAIM ANY OWNERSHIP THE ZOO ANIMALS PART! That was made up by LK in his fic, and I thought the opportunity to reference him there was too good to pass up. Sorry for the long wait, but you would not believe the freak storm that hit us! **

**Wow, I think this is my longest chapter yet! I hope you enjoyed it! WAOH! 19 reviews on the last chapter! 8') You guys are the best, I love you all! Let's see if we can break 20!**

**In other news, darksideincorperated got their video back and cardgamesftw got suspended…again…**


	16. 72 In which Pokemon is played

**Anime-GuardianAngel****: He so does!**

Bakura: I do not!

**TheAverIn****: I'm glad I could make you laugh! **

**sailorblaze****: Well, you know how Chuckie is my stepbrother? I introduced Iris to him, and they really hit it off. I'm really good at matching people with their soulmate! Do you want to know who I match you up with?**

**SerenePanic****: He's back! Man, he comes and goes faster than a Phinias and Ferb invention! I'm glad you liked it, thanks!**

**zukofan2005****: XD Yeah, I like that part! Thanks!**

**maximumride123****: You are bloody awesome!**

**Yin Yang Zodiac Girl****: That is funnier. Got anymore for me?**

**RandomSpazz-chan****: Good! My goal is to satisfy! And LK is back! Yay!**

**Scaevola2****: So do I sometimes!**

**Trialman AKA Soma Cruz****: No, she would have freaked if she found out Marik was getting married. It was only members of Iris's family that were there. **

**Angelucie****: Fanart isn't bad! It's what makes amvs and soft porn that we all love! And not to even MENTION doujinshi**

**Uqluiorra12345****: He's back!**

Bakura: You spelled 'jealous' wrong.

**EgyptianBlueEyes****: He SO does!**

Bakura: one, I do not. Two, you spelled 'jealous' wrong.

**Diilark****: You're welcome! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Aquailita****: I love making people laugh 8'D**

**Desert Siren: That, my friend, is a fanfiction waiting to happen!**

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

**I don't own **_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, the idea for this fic, Popipo, Hatsune Miku, or Pokémon.**_

**poppi poppi po poppi po- ×11  
poppi poppi po poppi  
pi ――――――――――――――――――**  
**saa nome omae SUKI daro?**  
**yasai juice**  
**watashi ga kimeta ima kimeta**  
**dakara nonde watashi no**  
**yasai juice**  
**kakaku wa ni-hyaku yen!**

**soiya! soiya!**  
**do say do say x2**

After an exciting trip to the zoo, Marik and Bakura were ready to continue their antics in Target.

"And remember the Panda?" Marik said excitedly as he and Bakura entered Target.

"Yes," Bakura said, obviously annoyed at the story Marik had told and retold over and over again.

"I mean, it really seemed to like me!" Marik said.

"Yes," Bakura said.

"We communicated in Panda language, Bakura! FRIGGIN PANDA LANGUAGE!" Marik said, angry with Bakura's indifference.

"Grunting and jumping around is not Panda language," Bakura corrected.

"Oh, what do you know? You don't have my animal skills!" Marik bragged.

Bakura rolled his eyes and took out his list, "Number 205. Chew gum loudly in people's faces."

"I have some gum!" Marik reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of bubble gum. Sugar free, of course, Marik wouldn't' want to rot his teeth.

They both took a piece of gum and stuck it in their respective mouths. Chewing loudly, they went around the store, annoying many people.

"Stop doing that!" Yami yelled at Marik.

"Doing what?" Marik said, chewing louder.

"Stop chewing that pink monstrosity so loudly!"

"No!" Marik yelled, "I'll chew as loud as I want! It's a free friggin country!"

"You're right, which means I can freely do this," Yami raised his arm

_**MIND CRUSH!**_

Marik was lying face down on the floor when Bakura found him.

"Marik, you bloody moron, wake up," Bakura ordered, nudging Marik with his foot.

Marik groaned and sat up, "Ow…"

Bakura rolled his eyes and helped Marik up. When Marik seemed able to stand on his own, he read the list, "206. Throw a poke-ball at someone and yell, 'PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!'"

Marik and Bakura made their way to the toy section. Marik stopped about a dozen times to admire the toys, "Bakura! Look at this!"

"Focus, Marik," Bakura said. When they finally got to the isle with the Pokémon toys, Marik insisted upon a squishy Luxury Ball, claiming that it was the only poke-ball worthy of himself. Bakura chose a simple Great Ball.

Soon, the two were throwing poke-balls at other shoppers, yelling names of random Pokémon, "Magikarp, I choose you! Blissey, I choose you! Sunflora, I choose you!"

Suddenly, a man approached Bakura, "You two are pathetic Pokémon trainers!"

"Why?" Bakura asked, giving the man a strange look.

"Who the hell puts Magikarp in their team? And you can't get a Blissey with a Great Ball like yours. Chansey, the unevolved form of Blissy, is only available in the Safari Zone! Therefore, you could only have a Blissey in a Safari Ball! You should be ashamed to call yourself a Pokémon trainer!"

Marik and Bakura looked at each other in unison. They both yelled, "ARCEUS! I CHOOSE YOU!"

Both Marik and Bakura threw their poke-balls at the strange man, and he fled screaming, "ARCEUS CAN ONLY BE OBTAINED WITH A MASTER BALL!"

"What a bloody weirdo…" Bakura said. Marik shook his head in agreement. Bakura took out the list and read, "207. Get a cart and pile it high with items. When the cashier tells you the price, exclaim, "What a rip off!" And walk out of the store."

Mark and Bakura threw random items into their cart, and the item mountain teetered edge to edge by the time they were done.

"I think that's enough," Marik said.

Bakura looked flustered that the pile of items would fall and bury them under a mountain of toys, "Let's just get this over with, shall we?"

Marik nodded and went to the check out isle. Ushio was there, manning the cash register, "Welcome to Target, may I check you out today?"

"Pfft, how could you not? Look at these abs!" Marik motioned to his midriff.

"Marik, he means can he scan our items so we can pay," Bakura pointed out.

Marik blinked, "Oh, well in that case you can!"

Ushio shook his head and scanned all Marik's items.

**Several hours later…**

"That'll be 154,682 and 47 cents," Ushio said, out of breath from scanning all the items.

"WHAT?! WHAT A FRIGGIN RIP OFF!" Marik stormed out of the store with Bakura following close behind, leaving Ushio to put away all the items.

"I hate my job, I knew I should have stayed in high school…" Ushio sighed.

**(Line break.)**

**Sorry for the wait! I started school, and I haven't had time to write of go on the internet. And sorry for the shortness! I love you guys, you're the best ever 8) Keep on reviewing!**

**In other news, LK GOT HIS ACCOUNT BACK! **


	17. 73 In which Marik hates Lima Beans

_**sailorblaze**__**: Sorry, I fixed it 8P**_

_**Scaevola2**__**: No way! Mew is actually really weak. Arceus can learn any Pokémon move because he can change into all the different types of Pokémon. Arceus is the ultimate godfather be-all-end-all of Pokémon! **_

_**Uqluiorra12345**__**: The Pokémon guy was actually my brother XD **_

_**Trialman AKA Soma Cruz**__**: Ushio is pretty cool. I personally like the hair guy better. **_

_**maximumride123**__**: You're bloody awesome for reading this story! :D**_

_**SerenePanic**__**: No, you can't put a a Pokémon from the day care into a Great Ball; all Pokémon from an egg are automatically put into a Poke Ball.**_

_**Yin Yang Zodiac Girl**__**: Never heard of it. Ummm…BUNNIES!**_

_**DarkspiritYami**__**: That number is illogical. That's 10 to the 77th power! Marik has only been owned 10 to the 76th power times!**_

_**Angelucie**__**: Thanks! (I really have no better way to respond lol)**_

_**EgyptianBlueEyes**__**: Yay! Everyone loves Mind Crush!**_

_**RandomSpazz-chan**__**: Why was your katakana bloody? Thanks for the review!**_

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

**I don't own **_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, the idea for this fic, Popipo, Hatsune Miku, Diablo 3, or Magic: The Gathering.**_

**poppi poppi po poppi po- ×11  
poppi poppi po poppi  
pi ――――――――――――――――――**  
**saa nome omae SUKI daro?**  
**yasai juice**  
**watashi ga kimeta ima kimeta**  
**dakara nonde watashi no**  
**yasai juice**  
**kakaku wa ni-hyaku yen!**

**soiya! soiya!**  
**do say do say x2**

After much arguing, it was decided that Bakura was to drive. The two had decided to play a game of 'rock, paper, scissors,' as they had seen the foolish mortals solve their conflicts with it. Marik's passion in his game of rock, paper, scissors, caused him to make up the hand symbol 'volcano,' which was an automatic win. Bakura started arguing that 'volcano' was not a real move, so it shouldn't be counted. Marik, on the other hand, thought that his volcano was completely valid; it just took a brain as amazing as his to comprehend it. After what involved much swearing, it was finally agreed that volcano wasn't a real symbol. In the rematch, Marik used 'gun-fingers' to blow apart Bakura's rock, and Bakura, not wanting to argue again, climbed into the driver's seat.

"You know, fluffy, I think that there should be a written rule book for rock, paper, scissors, gun," Marik pointed out.

Bakura irritably muttered his catch phrase, "I don't care."

Marik shrugged, "I suppose you just can't comprehend my logic," he said, and went back to petting Bakura's hair, making Bakura purr.

After a rant of the rules of 'rock, paper, scissors, gun' and how it would soon be an Olympic sport, mixed with the sounds of Bakura's cat-like purring, the two managed to arrive at Target.

Bakura pulled out his list and read, "Number 208. Play baseball in the middle of the store, then score a home run and run around the store screaming."

"I've seen baseball before! It's the game where the Americans chew gum and hit balls with sticks!"

Bakura was about to make a remark, but then realized that the short sentence was a pretty good summary of what baseball actually was, so he instead beckoned Marik to follow him to the sports section.

The twosome armed themselves with all the correct gear. Almost; Target only supplied the childish, plastic baseball bats and tennis balls. Bakura was barely able to fit into the largest size baseball glove they had, "Let's hurry up and do this, Marik," he said, "I'm starting to lose all feeling in my fingers."

Marik tossed Bakura a tennis ball, and Bakura caught it with his ungloved hand, seeing as he could no longer move his gloved one. He drew his arm back dramatically, like a sort of faux-Zeus getting ready to throw a lightning bolt, and with one ungraceful heave of the body, he pitched the ball towards Marik.

_Crack!_

The ball went flying about 4 feet, and then rolled across the floor and underneath a shelf of new Diablo 3 videogames. The source of the cracking noise was the plastic bat cracking in two.

The two stood for a second, blinked a few times, then Marik yelled, "HOME RUN!" And continued to run around the store screaming. All the time, Bakura watched with an indifferent look on his face.

After about a minute of Marik's screaming, Joey came over and stood by Bakura. He placed a hand on Bakura's shoulder and said, "Hang in dere, pal," and without another word, walked off.

When Marik was done with his loud celebration, Bakura read the list, "Number 209. Find all the beans you can and put them in your cart, and then tell random people that it's your breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next couple years."  
Luckily, Target had just received a large shipment of beans. Bakura took a cart from the front of the store and followed Marik to the food isle, which had rows upon rows of every kind of bean imaginable; even jelly beans. They piled their cart high with all the beans in stock. Well, almost all; they left the Lima beans, which Marik claimed he hated.

Tristan approached them, "Dayum, sucku! That be one mighty high bean pile!"

Bakura was about to point out that Tristan was not Black, but Marik cut him off, "It's our breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next couple years!"

"That's wiggidy wiggidy wack!" Tristain cried, then walked off towards the fruit section. Bakura shook his head, not even bothering to question Tristan's actions anymore.

Bakura read from the list, "210. Pay for your stuff with all pennies, and then come up one too short."

They left the cart full of beans in the middle of the store. They went to the trading card section, because that usually has relatively cheap items that you can get in large quantities. After arguing on whether to get the 'Gates to the underworld' structure deck, like Bakura wanted, or the 'Yami Marik' structure deck, like Marik wanted, they both finally came to an agreement to get a pack of Magic: The Gathering trading cards. They had always wanted to learn how to play the game, anyway.

The two went to stand in line.

"I can help whoever's next," said a deep voice from the cash register. Marik walked up to the cash register and set his trading cards down.

Ushio rung up the item, "That'll be $10.57."

Marik got out 1056 pennies, and made Ushio count each one of them to make sure they had enough. Every time Ushio as almost to the end, Marik did or said something to make him have to start over, such as sing the alphabet song and making Ushio confuse '144' with 'W.' After about 3 hours of counting, Ushio finally finished counting, and when they came up one short, he passed out.

Satisfied, Marik and Bakura walked out of the store.

**(Line Break)**

**Sorry for the wait. High school is killing me T-T and it doesn't help that Basis gives 3 hours of homework a night… So yeah, expect the updated to come less often. This over-2-weeks was an exception, I was really super busy. Please know that I have ABSOLUTLY NO INTENTION of stopping this story. Never think I'm not going to update. I'll probably be updating about once a week at the most from now on, I'm really sorry. I hope this chapter was enough to make up for it all.**


	18. 74 In which Marik and Ushio duke it out

_**sailorblaze**__**" Creepy *sci-fi music plays***_

_**SerenePanic**__**: HAHA! It's funny because pennies are only worth $.01 and are therefore not rich at all! **_

_**maximumride123**__**: I agree! Except for the flamers and haters, they are not bloody awesome! They are the opposite of bloody awesome! They are bloody disawesome! **_

_**Scaehime-KingofKing's Daughter**__**: I like Brussels sprouts and hate circus peanuts… *singing the alphabet song* "140*s*, 141*t*, 142*u*, 143*v*, W*w*. That's how.**_

_**Angelucie**__**: I would actually like to read that.**_

_**RandomSpazz-chan**__**: HOW COULD YOU?!**_

_**GinnNekoChanAngel: I once again don't know how to respond to your rants.**_

_**DarkspiritYami**__**: Marik would be good as a Pokémon, what type is he?**_

_**Yin Yang Zodiac Girl**__**: TELL ME THE RULES!**_

_**EgyptianBlueEyes**__**: Thank you! And thanks for the review!**_

_**lizy42100**__**: Thanks! Ps, I like your avatar, even if I am an InuyashaxKikyo shipper.**_

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

**I don't own **_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, the idea for this fic, Popipo, Hatsune Miku, cooties, or anything else.**_

**poppi poppi po poppi po- ×11  
poppi poppi po poppi  
pi ――――――――――――――――――**  
**saa nome omae SUKI daro?**  
**yasai juice**  
**watashi ga kimeta ima kimeta**  
**dakara nonde watashi no**  
**yasai juice**  
**kakaku wa ni-hyaku yen!**

**soiya! soiya!**  
**do say do say x2**

Marik and Bakura entered Target, and Bakura read, "Number 211. Flirt with random girls."

Marik yelled, "Well, seeing as you are terrible with the ladies, I shall have to do it with my irresistible body!"

Bakura replied, "I agr-wait, _what_?" But Marik ran off before Bakura could get an answer.

Soon, Marik came upon Mai, who was shopping for new bras. Marik thought up the best pick up line he could, then decided on one. Smiling for his brilliance, he strode over to Mai, "Are you sure they make a cup size big enough for you?" He asked.

"Look, hun, if you wanna have sex with me then just say so, I'm not hard. But you will be," she said, and then winked.

"EW! GET YOUR COOTIES AWAY FROM ME!" Marik yelled, and ran away to Bakura. When he found Bakua he vented, "She tried to infect me with her girl cooties, Bakura! HER FRIGGEN COOTIES!"

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Only you could be so naïve as to believe in such a childish thing."

"You're just jealous because you have girl cooties and I don't!"

"What makes you think I have 'girl cooties?'"

"Look at you! You look like a girl!"

"Marik, you're wearing a bloody lavender shirt that shows your midriff. How is that not girly?"

"It makes me sexy so the ladies dig me, Bakura!"

Bakura rolled his eyes, knowing that any further argument would not be worth it. Instead, Bakura read, "Number 212. Change the music on the intercom to Mexican."

"Ha! It's funny because Mexican isn't a language! Everyone knows it's Mexicaans!"

Bakura stared at Marik, "Marik, you redefine what it means to be a wanker."

"Oh, very funny, Fluffy."

Bakura rolled his eyes and walked off into the control room of the store. There were Many flashing buttons, but Bakura was easily able to locate where to change the music because of the big flashing sign that read 'CHANGE MUSIC HERE' and had an arrow pointing to a cluster of buttons. Bakura walked over to the buttons, and pushed the one that said 'Spanish.' Immediately, Spanish mariachi music started pouring through the speaker. Satisfied, Bakura left the control room and went to meet up with Marik.

Marik was dancing to the music, flailing his limbs around in all directions like a chicken without its head. Or in this case, a Marik without its head.

"Marik, stop bloody doing that and get over here,"

"Do not kill my flow, Bakura! I am rocking out!"

"Marik, it's only funny when those two Steves do that. And even then it's not funny."

"You're such a friggin party pooper, Bakura!" Marik pouted, but walked over to Bakura.

Bakura ignored Marik and read, "Number 213. Go up to a tough looking guy and push him and say you wanna fight? And when he pushes back start to cry and run away."

"There is a big tough guy right there!" Marik yelled, pointing to Ushio.

"Uh, Marik, I don't think that's a good-" But Marik was already running up to Ushio, totally oblivious to Bakura's warnings.

"Hey, You!" Marik yelled.

Ushio turned, "can I help you, sir?"

"Yeah," Marik shoved Ushio, but he didn't go anywhere, or even move. "You wanna fight?"

Ushio shrugged his shoulders and pushed Marik with his pointer finger. Marik fell backwards on his butt and pretended to cry, "Waaaah! He tried to rape me! Waaaaaah!" Marik got up and ran away, leaving Ushio startled, and the customers staring wide eyed at the alleged rapist.

**And now for the stinger!**

**It's Insanity, the newest work out plan for losing pounds fast!**

"**Hi, I'm Melvin, creator of the Insanity work out plan. Insanity helps burn carbs and fat because you're running non-stop from me for a full 2 hours a day! That's right, I'll come right to your house and chase you for two hours, and if you don't lose weight in the first week, I'll kill you!"**

**That's right, order your Insanity work out plan today! Because nothing makes you lose weight faster than running for your life!**

**(Line Break)**

**Sorry for the wait, and the shortness, and the lack of funny. But I know how you can all help me! If any of you see a very short lady with curly brown hair whose last name is Sandoval, please shoot her! That will lessen my homework 50%! Anyway, I feel bad for the wait, so I'll do something special. In your review, think of the funniest or craziest thing you want Marik and Bakura to do. I'll pick the ones I like the most, and they'll be the next things that Marik and Bakura do! Like, for example, "Throw porcupines at all the cashiers." Just say it in your review, and I might have Marik and Bakura do it! **


	19. 75 In which Marik and Bakura dance to KP

**TheAverIn****: So much can be said with so little.**

**DarkspiritYami****: Way to get crazy, fangirl. Way to get crazy…**

**Anime-GuardianAngel****: I like that idea! I'm using it!**

Marik and Bakura: Crap…

**SerenePanic****: A wanker is another name for a penis! …hehehehe, penis…**

**GinnNekoChanAngel****: I'm always lost during your reviews, but I appreciate you writing them regardless.**

The Real Rainbow: Glad you liked it! As for your suggestion, are those all ponies? I don't know them…

maximumride123: Bloddy, the new blood for vampires on the go!

sailorblaze: Yes, mistress. Was this one long enough for you?

Dynamite and Soup: I think I'll use a version of that next chapter…

Scaehime-KingofKing's Daughter: I like the idea!

lizy42100: I kinda combined your ideas with some of the others.

RandomSpazz-chan: I LOVE YOU TOO! …Oh, you were kidding…? …this is awkward…

Yin Yang Zodiac Girl: I might do something like that next chapter.

Angelucie: Well then I'm sorry, but I'll have to kill you then. DEATH BY LAUGHTER! THE ONLY TRAP JIGSAW HASN'T USED!

ArcherAzzure: What? That's crazy…

EgyptianBlueEyes: You live the stinger? Wow, that unfortunate… and I incorporated a part of your idea into the chapter.

Aquailita: I might do the third one next chapter.

impurepet: …Wha?

Lawliet Veneziano: Bakura in a dress…sounds like Twelfth Night gone wrong…

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

**I don't own **_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, the idea for this fic, Target, Katy Perry, California Girls, Snoop Dog, Pokémon, your mom, Happy Wheels, or anything else.**_

**California girls  
We're unforgettable  
Daisy Dukes  
Bikinis on top  
Sun-kissed skin  
So hot  
will melt your popsicle  
Oooooh Oh Oooooh**

**California girls**  
**We're undeniable**  
**Fine, fresh, fierce**  
**We got it on lock**  
**West coast represent**  
**Now put your hands up**  
**Oooooh Oh Oooooh**

Marik and Bakura walked into Target, where wanted posters were hung up with a picture of Ushio, reading, "WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED RAPE"

Bakura read the poster and said, "I guess we won't be seeing him for a while."

"He tried to friggin rape me! That would not have happened at K-Mart!" Yelled Marik.

Bakura rolled his eyes and took out his list, "Number 214. Create an army out of the chain-monkeys. Use the barrels as barricades for added effect."

Soon, Marik and Bakura were in the ever-familiar toy isle, hard at work setting up their army. Soon, every barrel of monkeys was opened and set up, and Marik and Bakura his to observe the reaction of the shoppers.

A young boy and his dad, who were riding on a bicycle, biked by, and the boy yelled, "Daddy! I wanna play with the monkeys!"

"Oh, no, son! I can't believe you just said that! What would your mother say?"

"Daddy, you said never to bring up mom..."

"NEVER TALK ABOUT HER!" Yelled the father, flipping the child off the bicycle.

The father then ran over the child, and Bakura stated, "How irresponsible."

Marik replied, "Yes, he's an irresponsible dad. Oh, Bakura! Remember when we were watching that guy play-"

Marik was interrupted by a yell, "BARRELS! I (bleep)ING HATE YOU!" The yell was coming from a blonde man with a Swedish accent, "DIE, BARRELS!" The man started grabbing all the barrels and throwing them around the store, knocking down all the monkeys. When they were all gone, the mean, with a satisfied tone, said, "That'll teach you, you stupid assholes," and walked off.

While this was happening, Marik and Bakura were both staring, wide-eyed and eyebrows raised, at the sight. Finally, Bakura said, "Well…that was strange…"

Marik replied, "That gut really didn't like Barrels…"

Bakura nodded his head in response, and they both left the toy section. When they were back in the middle of the store, Bakura read the list, "Number 215. Play all the demo video games and complain that you can't get past the demo part."

"Oh! Bakura! Do you think they'll have Slender? I love Slender, remember when we were playing it and then Slender showed up and I was all 'waaaah!' and you were all 'let's get the bloody hell out of here!'"

Bakura's eye twitched, "Marik, they won't have a Slender demo, as it has already been released. Many years ago," Bakura walked off to the video game isle.

Marik pouted, but followed Bakura. Soon, they were surrounded by video games for all sorts of games.

Bakura pointed out a game titled 'Saw II: Flesh and Blood,' "Ha! I remember this game! It bloody sucked!" Bakura laughed and walked over to the Nintendo DS console and began to play Pokémon Black 2 while Marik watched. Soon, the end demo credits played, and Marik yelled, "Hey! Why can't we go any further?"

A clerk came over, "It's the end of the demo, sir."

Marik yelled, "I don't friggin care! I want to play the game!"

"Well then you have to buy it!"

"Well how much is it?"

"49.99."

"What?! That's friggin ridiculous to pay that much for a game I can download off the interweb for free! Come on, Bakura, let's go," Marik grabbed Bakura by the wrist and dragged him back to the center of the store.

Marik was still muttering about how ridiculous it was when Bakura read the list, " 'Number 216. Get in a bikini and dance to California girls by Katy Perry.' I'm not doing that."

"But Bakura! You love Katy Perry!"

"wh-what the bloody hell are you talking about? I've never listened to Katy Perry in my life!"

"But Bakura! I hear it playing in your room when you think I'm not home!"

"Bullocks. That must have been my ridiculous host you're speaking of, I would never do something so degrading."

"Fine, but I know it was you…"

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing, Fluffy. Just put on the friggin bikini!"

"No, I absolutely refuse."

Marik sighed, "Fine, you don't have to wear the bikini… But you still have to dance!"

"Marik, I refuse to-" Bakura was cut off by the sound of music playing.

_I know a place  
Where the grass is really greener  
Warm, wet and wild  
There must be something in the water  
Sippin' gin and juice  
Laying underneath the palm trees  
The boys  
Break their necks  
Try'na to creep a little sneak peek_

"Come on and dance, Bakura!"

_You could travel the world  
But nothing comes close  
to the golden coast  
Once you party with us  
You'll be falling in love  
Oooooh Oh Oooooh_

California girls  
We're unforgettable  
Daisy Dukes  
Bikinis on top  
Sun-kissed skin  
So hot  
will melt your popsicle  
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

_California girls  
We're undeniable  
Fine, fresh, fierce  
We got it on lock  
West coast represent  
Now put your hands up  
Oooooh Oh Oooooh_

Marik grabbed Bakura's hands and spun him around while some other shoppers joined in.

_Sex on a beach  
We get sand in our stilletos  
We freak  
In my jeep  
Snoop Doggy-Dog on the stereo_

You could travel the world  
But nothing comes close  
to the golden coast  
Once you party with us  
You'll be falling in love  
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

Bakura blushed slightly and the mention of sex and falling in love and tried to pull away, but Marik's firm grip and the shoppers around them made it impossible for him to get away.

_California girls  
We're unforgettable  
Daisy Dukes  
Bikinis on top  
Sun-kissed skin  
So hot  
will melt your popsicle  
Oooooh Oh Oooooh_

California girls  
We're undeniable  
Fine, fresh, fierce  
We got it on lock  
West coast represent  
Now put your hands up  
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

Marik sang the parts with snoop dog, creating a strange pitch to the song, two conflicting voices.

_Tone Tan  
Fit and ready  
Turn it up cause its gettin' heavy  
Wild wild west coast  
These are the girls I love the most_

I mean the ones  
I mean like she's the one  
Kiss her  
Touch her  
Squeeze her buns

The girls a freak  
She drives a jeep  
The men on the beach  
I'm okay  
I won't play  
I love the bait  
Just like I love LA  
Venice beach  
and Palm Springs  
Summer time is everything

Come on boys  
Hanging out  
All that a-s  
hanging out  
Bikinis, tankinis, martinis  
No weenies  
Just a king  
and a queenie  
Katy my lady  
You looking here baby  
I'm all up on you  
Cause you representing California

The song switched back to Katy Perry, who, Bakura thought, sounded more like Marik than Snoop Dog.

_California girls  
We're unforgettable  
Daisy Dukes  
Bikinis on top  
Sun-kissed skin  
So hot  
will melt your popsicle  
Oooooh Oh Oooooh_

California girls  
We're undeniable  
Fine, fresh, fierce  
We got it on lock  
West coast represent  
Now put your hands up  
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

The song ended and the crows cheered, and Bakura stomped away.

"Bakura! Wait!" Yelled Marik.

"What?!" Bakura snapped.

"I have to ask you something!"

"Well what the bloody hell is it?!" Growled Bakura, obviously annoyed.

"Were is California?

**(line break)**

**Wow…has it really been a month…? Life, what can I say? Life and Pokémon White 2. Sorry dudes, don't be mad at me! Well, I hope you liked it. Yeah, I'll probably do some more of the ideas for the next chapter, but I couldn't put them all in here! I had trouble picking which ones to use… So thank's a ton to the people who reviewed, al 19 of them! Wow!  
EDIT: Going back and proofreading, I misspelled love as live. That's embarrassing.**


	20. 76 In which Bakura is punted

**Anime-GuardianAngel****: Thank you!**

**Dynamite and Soup****: Yes, but nothing will ever beat the old Pokemon Emerald Version for Gameboy.**

**Trialman: AKA Soma Cruz****: Cool.**

**Yin Yang Zodiac Girl****: Oh, yeah, about that, I kinda forgot about all that and wrote the chapter based off the actual list…oops…And no, I did not. Are you sure you're not just gay?**

**sailorblaze****: Even I make mistakes…**

**SerenePanic****: I never liked her too, but my reviewers compelled me to do it.**

**DarkspiritYami****: Thank you for the review!**

**Warrior orb5****: LIKE A BOSS**

**Angelucie****: No, you said you would die of laughter if I used your idea. I used it. Ergo you die. **

**zukofan2005****: The joke makes more sense if you watch Tobuscus…**

**maximumride123****: Don't worry about it, I've been half asleep while writing the last two chapters…**

**GinnNekoChanAngel****: Right back atcha.**

**impurepet****: Thanks!**

**Uqluiorra12345****: Glad I could make your day.**

**RandomSpazz-chan****: Sure, *hugs*.**

**lizy42100****: BROFIST No worries.**

**EgyptianBlueEyes****: Your wait is over…for now…**

**Rueky Ishtar****: BROFIST!**

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

**I don't own **_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, the idea for this fic, Target, Katy Perry, California Girls, Michael Jackson, or anything else.**_

**California girls  
We're unforgettable  
Daisy Dukes  
Bikinis on top  
Sun-kissed skin  
So hot  
will melt your popsicle  
Oooooh Oh Oooooh**

**California girls**  
**We're undeniable**  
**Fine, fresh, fierce**  
**We got it on lock**  
**West coast represent**  
**Now put your hands up**  
**Oooooh Oh Oooooh**

Marik and Bakura were in the food court, enjoying a bucket of Buttered popcorn.

Marik was hogging the entire bucket, "I like popcorn, Bakura! We didn't have popcorn back in the tomb I was tortured in as a child, the closest things we had were rocks. And when we cooked them over a fire, we didn't eat them! Our dad stoned us with them, and-"

"I don't bloody care, Marik! Five minutes ago you were complaining that you would never eat popcorn because all the bloody calories would enlarge you."

"Well you're just jealous because you aren't as sexy as I am!"

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Yes, Marik, that is it exactly."

"I am smart and sexy, then!" Marik cried out, obviously proud.

Bakura shook his head at his friend's stupidity, "Shall we get on with it, then? I'd rather like to get home and watch my, er, program."

"You just want to get home and watch the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo marathon."

"I-what?! N-no, I, er, want to get home and watch…Saw. Saw five."

"But you hated Saw five?"

Bakura quickly changed the subject, "Ahem, Number 217. Run out of the dressing room screaming, "Michael Jackson has my dad!"

Marik tipped his head to the side, "Who is Michael Jackson?"

Bakura hesitated for a moment, then said, "Well, imagine the most horrible, inhumane, pedophilic, disgusting thing you can possibly think of."

"Okay…"

"Now imaging it dancing."

"...HOLY FRIG!" Marik screamed.

"I know."

**After Marik calmed down…**

Marik was in the dressing room, "Now, Bakura?"

"Marik, it ruins it if you call out to me for a cue."

"Is that my cue phrase?"

"Just shut up and do the bloody task."

After a few seconds, Marik screamed, "HELP! MICHAEL JACKSON HAS MY FRIGGIN FATHER!" He continued to run and scream for a full ten minutes before security, AKA Ushio, had to throw him out of the store.

Bakura was annoyed, "Great, now I have to do the rest today…" Sighing, Bakura read what was next on the list, "Number 218. Point to a cash register and ask the cashier, "How much is that?"" Groaning, Bakura stalked off to the checkout isle.

During the time that Carry was fired, Target had hired a few new cashiers (at minimum wage, of course). 'Well,' Bakura thought, 'at least I get to scare some new employees," The thought made Bakura smirk, and he stepped in line at the register. When his turn came, he was greeted by an old woman, probably in her late sixty's.

Bakura pointed to the cash register and asked, "How much is this?"

The woman looked down at the cash register, "What?"

Bakura cringed at her raspy voice, "The register. How much is in it?"

"I'm sorry, you can't but a gun in this isle. You have to go the ammo isle," She pointed to the food court.

"No, the cash register. The thing right in front of you."

"iPods are in the video game isle," She pointed to the ammo isle.

"Lady, what the bloody hell is wrong with you? I just want to know the price of the cash register. You know, the thing that you put money in when people pay for things," Bakura growled.

"Oh, well why didn't you say so, Sonney?" She reached into the cash register and pulled out some bills, "Let's count these, er, um, let's see here, one…two…three…four…five…seven…wait, what was I on?"

Bakura was fed up, so he walked away from the deranged old woman.

"Goodbye, have a nice day!" She yelled after him.

After returning to the middle of the store, Bakura read the next item on the list, "Number 219. Scream "SECURITY!" as loud as you can. When they come up act all panicky and say "This is really important!" Then smile and say, "Hi."" Bakura sighed, knowing this wouldn't end well.

Bakura screamed at the top of his lungs, "SECURITY!"

After a few minutes, Ushio came running up to him, clearly flustered, "What is the problem?!"

Bakura put on a very serious face, "This is REALLY important!"

"Well, what is it?"

"Are you sure you can handle this?"

Ushio yelled, "Just tell me the issue!"

Bakura took a deep breath, "Hi."

Ushio stood there for a moment, "…What?"

"Hi," Bakura repeated.

"Are you meaning to tell me that you called me all the way over here, got me all wound up, just to tell me hi?!"

"That's the gist, yes."

Ushio went berserk, "Do you understand how _important _I am to this store?! Do you realize that calling me away from my duties could stop me from saving someone life?! Someone is probably _dead_ now because of you! And dead means lawsuits which means I lose my job which means I live on the streets! Do you realize you have just cost me my job?!"

Bakura blinked, momentarily stunned, but then regained his composure but uttering his three most famous words, "I don't care."

Ushio's eye twitched, and he grabbed Bakura and threw him over his shoulder.

"Hey, what the bloody hell do you think you're doing?!" Bakura yelled.

"Kicking you out of this store before I completely lose it," And with that, Bakura was literally punted out of the store.

Bakura returned to the Marikmobile, rubbing his sore bottom, and met up with Marik, who was singing along to Michael Jackson.

"BAKURA!" Marik cried out.

"What?!" Bakura barked.

"I like Michael Jackson!"

**(Line Break)**

***yawn* So much soccer…not enough sleep…sorry for the wait, the usual things going on. Be sure to check out Sailorblaze's new chapter 56 ½, and watch LK's new episode. Be sure to review, I get my inspiration from you guys *insert more sappy JB lines here***


	21. 77 In which they go to Super Target

**sailorblaze****: Close, but no cigar.**

**Yin Yang Zodiac Girl****: Well, in that case, you are a lesbian. **

**Angelucie****: That's actually a good idea…I'm gonna go look up 'soul' on ebay and see what I find!**

**maximumride123****: Now I'm half drunk 8D**

**Aquailita****: Well, hopefully this one is better. 1) Yes, but sometimes I change the order around and I used ideas from some of the reviewers to make my own.**

**Uqluiorra12345: Bugger indeed.**

**CandyFiend****: Aw, thank you!**

**EgyptianBlueEyes****: I don't care!**

Bakura: Hey, that's my line…

**I don't care 8D**

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

**I don't own **_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, the idea for this fic, Target, Super Target, Katy Perry, California Girls, My Little Pony, or anything else.**_

**California girls  
We're unforgettable  
Daisy Dukes  
Bikinis on top  
Sun-kissed skin  
So hot  
will melt your popsicle  
Oooooh Oh Oooooh**

**California girls**  
**We're undeniable**  
**Fine, fresh, fierce**  
**We got it on lock**  
**West coast represent**  
**Now put your hands up**  
**Oooooh Oh Oooooh  
**

"Don't be so _**EFF!**_ing cool about this, Bakura! Without that Target, how will we finish the friggin list?!" Marik steamed. They were both staring at a poster on the door of Target. The poster had a picture of them on it, and read "BANNED FROM THIS STORE. IF SEEN, SHOOT THEN, ASK QUESTIONS LATER." Neither of the two wanted to risk going into the store.

"Just calm the bloody hell down, Marik. We'll think of something," Bakura was honestly getting a bit peeved. It wasn't his fault that they had both been kicked out; it was mostly Marik who partook in the shenanigans, "Besides, perhaps this is a good thing."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because now we can start fresh. At a new store, with new customers and employees."

Marik put his hand on his chin, contemplating the idea, "Can we do that? Just switch the setting in the middle of the story?"

Bakura shrugged, "Shakespeare did it, why can't we?"

Marik seemed content with the reasoning, "Okay then, where will we go now?"

Bakura thought for a second, "Well, we could go to the Super Target™ a few miles away."

"There's a Super Target here? WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED?! I could have so much more variety of eyeliner at a Super Target than at a regular Target!"

"And pay double the price…" Bakura muttered.

**20 MINUTES LATER, AT THE SUPER TARGET**

"And here we are at the Super Target! The final frontier!"

"Let's go, Buzz Aldren," Bakura grabbed Marik's wrist and pulled him inside.

The Super Target didn't look much different from a regular Target, except it looked bigger and more expensive. But it was a heck of a lot more _busy._ There had to be three times as many people here as there were at the other Target.

"Bakura! Look at all these victims! I cannot wait to assemble all the Steves in the store and force them to do my evil bidding!"

Bakura rolled his eyes. He never did understand Marik's need for henchmen. Personally, he would want the last thing his enemies ever see to be him, not some lackey he brainwashed, "Marik, why don't you read the list?"

"Oh, right!"Marik cleared his throat, "220. Rip open every package you see."

"Why do I get the feeling these things are getting really repetitive?" Bakura sighed.

Marik and Bakura made their way to the toy isle, at Marik's insistence, and started ripping open all the packages. First, Marik was ripping open the My Little Pony toys, but soon found the plastic box some of them were incased in impossible to open. He tried to pry open the plastic, but only succeeded in bending it and receiving remark's from Bakura about his lack of strength.

"Frig you! It's hard to open!" Marik whined. Fed up, he took out his Millennium Rod and tore open each plastic box.

"Marik, I'm impressed. You actually used the rod as a weapon instead of a playtoy," Bakura mock-clapped for Marik.

Marik shot an annoyed glare at Bakura, but continued to unwrap all the toys. When they were done they were swimming in a sea of wrappers and plastic. After making their way out, Marik crossed off number 220. He turned around to walk off, but bumped into someone.

"Oof!" Marik cried as he fell to the ground.

"Oh no, not you guys!" The voice came from Tristan, who looked both bewildered and disgusted at the same time.

"Hey, I know you!" Marik cried, getting up, "We haven't seen you in a long time!"

"That's because the gang and I started coming to this Super Target because you ruined the other Target for us! Serenity still has nightmares!" Tristan stomped away, mumbling something about them messing up his future wife.

Marik turned to Bakura, "Bakura! Do you know what this means?!"

"I don't care what it means."

"IT MEANS THAT WE CAN FINALLY GO BACK TO EMBARRASSING THE PHARAOH AGAIN!" Yelled Marik, looking practically ecstatic.

Bakura sighed, "It also means more Mind Crushes. And I'm not sure how much more of those my heart can take."

"But you don't have a heart, Bakura," Marik pointed out.

"How very crude of you to say."

"Aw, did I hurt wittle Bakuwa's feewings?"

Bakura's eye twitched. He eyes began glowing red, the color of fire. He clenched his fist and growled at Marik.

Marik shrunk back, "Uh-oh…"

Bakura pounced at Marik, but Marik dodged and Bakura hit the ground with a thud.

"Ugh!" Bakura cried as the wind was knocked out of him. Marik hastily sat on top of Bakura to pin him down. Bakura growled and, with his newfound strength, knocked Marik off on him and stood up.

Marik also stood, "BAKURA!" Marik grabbed Bakura's shoulders, and pulled himself and Bakura together so they were only inches apart. Marik stared Bakura straight in the eyes, then…

He punched him.

Marik socked Bakura right in the face, sending him sprawling to the floor.

"WAKE UP YOU FRIGGIN MORON!" Yelled Marik.

Bakura groaned, his face stinging from the blow, "Marik? Ow…"

Marik was cautious, "Are you Bakura?"

Bakura climbed to his feet, cupping his stinging face with one hand, "No, I'm Yugi. I just forgot to dye my hair this morning."

Marik breathed in relief, knowing the sarcasm could only be from Bakura, not his faux-self, "You wnet crazy again."

"I what?"

"You went crazy! You tried to _**EFF!**_ing kill me AGAIN!"

Bakura was clueless, "I did?"

"YES! You friggin idiot, you did!"

"Why?"

"How should I know? _You're _the one who did it!"

Bakura blinked, not really knowing what was going on. 'I tried to kill Marik? I think I would remember doing that…' "Are you sure?"

"What kind of question is that?! 'Marik, are you sure I just tried to kill you?' Yes, I'm fairly certain! Those kind of things are hard to be mistaken on!" Marik was angry.

Sensing his anger, Bakura tried to cool him before he erupted, "Alright, just calm down. I'm sorry, okay?"

Marik exploded, "You're sorry?! You just try to kill me and you say you're sorry?! That's it? No, 'are you okay' or anything? Bakura, do you even care?!"

Bakura was surprised, "Of course I care! You think I would like to wake up and find out that I had killed my best fr-partner in crime?!"

Marik crossed his arms and looked away, obviously thinking, "Let's go home."

"Marik-"

"_Now, Bakura._" Marik hissed, stomping off.

Bakura rubbed the back of his head, knowing he has really screwed something, whatever it was, up, and followed Marik out of the store.

**(Line Break)**

**CLIFFHANGER! Or my best try at one, I guess. Sorry for the lateness, but I have a recent obsession with Kingdom Hearts…**


	22. 78 In which Sarcophagi jump

**SerenePanic: Thank you! **

**DarkspiritYami****: I grant thee thy wish. And it looks like SerenePanic beat you to the 200th review.**

**Angelucie****: How do cookies make good javelins?**

**maximumride123****: My mommy doesn't let me get full drunk ;)**

**Yin Yang Zodiac Girl****: Good for you. We kinda already settled this in our PM.**

**Aquailita****: You're welcome.**

**GinnNekoChanAngel****: ROXAS X AXEL FOREVER!**

**Uqluiorra12345****: Axel x Bakura xDDD**

Bakura: *shutters*

**CrimsonSrawberry17****: I found the source of the mysterious ticking noise!**

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

**I don't own **_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, the idea for this fic, Target, Super Target, Katy Perry, California Girls, Twilight, Google, or anything else.**_

**California girls  
We're unforgettable  
Daisy Dukes  
Bikinis on top  
Sun-kissed skin  
So hot  
will melt your popsicle  
Oooooh Oh Oooooh**

**California girls**  
**We're undeniable**  
**Fine, fresh, fierce**  
**We got it on lock**  
**West coast represent**  
**Now put your hands up**  
**Oooooh Oh Oooooh**

It had been days, and Marik was still angry at Bakura. And Bakura was still clueless as to why. He'd told him he was sorry. He'd done whatever Marik wanted. He'd even bought him another one of his skanky tops, but nothing seemed to work.

And what else was a limey kitty to do but turn to Google?

Bakura sat on the chair facing the computer he'd stolen. He typed, How to make your angry girlfriend not mad at you (Because "how to make your angry partner in crime not mad at you" didn't work, and girlfriend was the next best thing Bakura could think of) and read the results.

"Sex…sex…sex…sex…Dammit, sex is not an option in my case!" Bakura grumbled, and kept reading, "Poem…dinner…clothes…spin the wheel? What?" Bakura was even more clueless now than he was before.

"What are you doing?"

Bakura jumped off his seat at the voice behind him, "I was, um, er, nothing!"

Marik pushed Bakura out of the way and looked at the computer screen, "How to make your angry girlfriend not mad at you?"

Bakura said nothing.

Marik broke out laughing, "That's so lame, Bakura!"

"Well, what the bloody hell else was I supposed to do?! I've done everything I can think of, and nothing's worked!" Bakura fumed.

"Try saying sorry one more time," Marik couldn't hide his smirk.

"I'm sorry?"

"Okay, I forgive you."

Bakura stared at Marik, "What?! You forgive me just like that?" Bakura snapped his fingers.

"Well, to be honest, I forgave you after a day, but I kept acting mad at you because I liked all the attention," Marik said.

Bakura couldn't help but smirk, "Pretty good for a bloody twat."

Marik laughed, "Bloody twat…it's funny because it's like a period…"

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Why do I even bother with you…"

Marik and Bakura entered Target, which was busy with New Years preparations.

Marik took out his list and read, "Number 221. Get on a bike and have your friend chase you. Pretend you are going to run over somebody and then move out the way."

"Seems simple enough," Bakura shrugged.

Ten minutes later Bakura was on a bike and Marik was chasing him. They barreled through the aisles, knocking over many displays and scaring many people.

"Big brother! Those people are knocking over all the food!" Cried Mokuba from the card game aisle.

"Eh, I'll allow it," Seto shrugged.

After a while, Marik and Bakura came upon Yami, shopping for a new spiky neckband.

"Watch out!" Yelled Bakura.

"Holy jumping sarcophagus!" Cried Yami, as he jumped out of the way, "Back in my day you would have been filleted for this!"

Bakura laughed, "Take that, Pharaoh!" But his laughter was short lived, for he crashed into the clearance rack of tacky jewelry that nobody wanted.

Yami smirked and walked over to a dazed Bakura, and said, "Looks like I win again, thief!"

"Oh, no…" Bakura knew what was coming next…

_**MIND CRUSH!**_

When Bakura woke up, Marik was standing above him.

"Bakura, I have a brilliant plan!" Marik declared.

"Pray tell," Bakura groaned, standing up.

"We're going to steal New Years!" Marik said, proudly.

"And how will be do that?"

"We're going to steal all the alcohol! New Years will be ruined!"

Bakura was genuinely surprised. Marik's plan actually involved stealing something that Bakura would actually enjoy having. And no socks were involved, rearranging or otherwise. It sounded too good to be true. And it was, for a minute later Bakura was doused with water and woke up from his mind-crushed dream.

Bakura rubbed his head, "Oww…"

"Are you okay? You got mind crushed."

"Really?" Bakura said in an annoyed tone, "You don't say? I had no idea! I thought I just collapsed in the middle of the store for no reason at all! Just for the lolz!"

"Well, it's a good thing I told you!" Marik puffed out his chest proudly.

Bakura facepalmed and read the next item on the list, "Number Stand in front of the security camera and pretend to die (dramatically)."

"I call doing this one because I am such a talented actor!" Marik yelled.

Marik found a security camera in the middle of the store and stood in front of it. He cleared his throat and prepared for his performance.

"Oh, the pain!" he grabbed where his heart would be, "The excruciating pain! It hurts more than sitting through Breaking Dawn! Why?! Why me?!" Marik made sputtering noises and fell to the ground. He twitched, and was motionless.

**Meanwhile, in the security room…**

" Oh my god! That poor boy is dying! Somebody call an ambulance!"

**Back to Marik…**

Marik continued to lay there, not wanting to break character, until he felt hands on him, "Hey, what the-?"

"CLEAR!" A paramedic shocked Marik, and he blacked out. They put him on a gurney and carried him out to an ambulance, leaving Bakura in the store.

"Bloody hell…" He muttered, and left to pick Marik off from the hospital.

**(Line Break)**

**And, the new chapter is here. Not much of a New Years special… Anyway, I hope you all had a good Christmas/Chanukah/Kwanza/whatever you did. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, see you next year!**


	23. 79 In which Marik beats Tea

**Anime-GuardianAngel****: I think both apply.**

**maximumride123****: Just don't press charges.**

**theabridgedkuriboh****: Both literally and figuratively. **

**Dynamite and Soup****: If you're looking for a kiss, you're on the wrong story ;)**

**Rueky Ishtar****: Aww, thanks, Ashy^^**

**Yin Yang Zodiac Girl****: People do that in my neighborhood, too! But there's a tree in my front yard and I can't really see them T-T**

**SerenePanic: Hehe, I'm glad I bring joy to you all!**

**impurepet****: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!**

**Angelucie****: Genius. Pure genius.**

**Aquailita****: He is!**

Marik: Hey!

**Uqluiorra12345****: I dinno who that is, but I assume it's a good thing!**

**DarkspiritYami****: Your wiiiiiiish…coooooomes….truuuuuuuuuuuuuuue!**

**EgyptianBlueEyes****: Maybe….;)**

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

**I don't own **_**I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, the idea for this fic, Target, Super Target, Katy Perry, California Girls, friendship, Oranges and Lemons, or anything else.**_

**California girls  
We're unforgettable  
Daisy Dukes  
Bikinis on top  
Sun-kissed skin  
So hot  
will melt your popsicle  
Oooooh Oh Oooooh**

**California girls**  
**We're undeniable**  
**Fine, fresh, fierce**  
**We got it on lock**  
**West coast represent**  
**Now put your hands up**  
**Oooooh Oh Oooooh**

Bakura walked into the hospital, grumbling about always having to be the one to get Marik out of his messes. He looked around the white walls with distaste.

'Why are they always white?' thought Bakura.

He walked up to the front desk, and said, "I'm here to pick up a friend of mine."

The nurse looked up at him with a smile, "How about you skip your friend and pick up me?" she said, winking.

Bakura blinked, unimpressed, "He has tan skin, he's about my height, blonde hair, probably bragging about his sexyness?"

The nurse giggled, "Playing hard to get, huh?"

"Can I just retrieve my bloody partner so we can get back to our useless mischief?" Bakura snapped.

"Only if you give me kiss," the woman flirted.

Bakura, annoyed, looked her straight in the eye, "I once killed a man using only his own mustache and a grape."

The nurse gulped and nervously laughed, "Um, yes, well, let me go get your friend for you…" she scurried away quickly.

Bakura sat down on the plastic seat, and grumbled, "Bloody hell, these chairs are uncomfortable…"

Ten minutes later, Marik walked out in his usual clothes.

"Bakura, it was horrible! They forced me to wear this dress that didn't show off my abs, and they stabbed me with needles, and they made me sit on a friggin chair that crushed my perfect buttox! Look at it, look at it Bakura! I no longer have my beautiful curves!" Marik screamed, obviously distressed.

Bakura rolled his eyes and said, "I don' care," and pulled Marik out of the hospital.

"You're just jealous because your rump is inferior to mine!" Marik pouted.

**Later…**

Marik and Bakura entered Target, which was busier than usual.

"Hooray! More victims of out evil plots!" Marik yelled. He was in a good mood because his rump had volumized during the ride in the Marikmobile.

"I'd hardly call what we do, evil," Bakura muttered.

"Shut up, Fluffy, and read the list," Marik shot back.

Bakura muttered something obtuse and read, "Number 224. Run around with underwear on your head, screaming, "I am Captain Underpants!""

"Who's Captain Underpants?" Marik asked.

"He's the best form of literature America can come up with nowadays."

Marik nodded in understandment, "What does he do?"

Bakura decided to have a little fun with Marik, "He wears underwear on his head and runs around smacking women while yelling, "Take that, Fiend!""

"Like Chris Brown?"

"Exactly like Chris Brown."

Marik smiled happily, running off to the undergarment aisle. He came back with a pair of green boxers on his head, mentioning to Bakura that they matched well with his clothes. He walked around until he found Tea, who was in the friendship aisle. Because in Super Target, the friendship aisle is a real thing.

He ran up to Tea and started to smack her arms. In reality, with Marik's girly stature, it was more like lightly tapping, "Take that, Fiend!" He yelled.

Through the whole ordeal, Tea just looked at him funny, "You're making me feel uncomfortable. It's not nice to make people feel uncomfortable," she said, and walked away.

"I hope you've learned your lesson: Never _**EFF! **_With Marik Sebastian Ishtar!" With that, Marik turned and marched back to Bakura, feeling triumphant.

Bakura, who was laughing through the whole thing, said, "That was grand."

"Evilly grand!" Marik pointed out.

"No, no, it was just grand."

Marik childishly stuck his tongue out, "Shut up, Kitty! Read the friggin list!"

"Don't make me get my claws out," Bakura shot back, pulling out the list. He read, "224. Sing "Oranges and Lemons" as loud as you can in the music section, then smile and say "Well, it's the music section so I thought you might like some like music." Then sing it again."

"See?! EVIL!" Marik shouted.

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Do you even know the lyrics to the song?"

"Yes!" Marik cried.

"Sing them, then."

"Okay, um… Oranges, and lemons, and apples, and asparagus….Shut up, Bakura! You're the British one!"

"I'm not British. I'm just gay."

"Same difference," Marik shrugged.

Bakura just shook his head and walked off to the music section. Being an educated man, he had read 1984 and was familiar with the motif. He got to the middle of the store, and began,

"Oranges and lemons,  
Say the bells of St. Clement's.  
You owe me five farthings,  
Say the bells of St. Martin's.  
When will you pay me?  
Say the bells of Old Bailey.  
When I grow rich,  
Say the bells of Shoreditch.  
When will that be?  
Say the bells of Stepney.  
I do not know,  
Says the great bell of Bow.  
Here comes a candle to light you to bed,  
And here comes a chopper to chop off your head."

Bakura made a chopping motion, striking a passingby Joey in the neck.

"Hey, whaddaya think your doin', busta?" He accused.

Bakura said, "Well, it's the music section so I thought you might like some like music."

"Well, stop it! Ya bruised my neck!" Joey grumbled and walked away.

Bakura, feeling satisfied with his work, continued to sing the next verse of the song.

"Pancakes and fritters,  
Say the bells of St. Peter's.  
Two sticks and an apple,  
Say the bells of Whitechapel.  
Pokers and tongs,  
Say the bells of St. John's.  
Kettles and pans,  
Say the bells of St. Ann's.  
Old Father Baldpate,  
Say the slow bells of Aldgate.  
You owe me ten shillings,  
Say the bells of St. Helen's.  
When will you pay me?  
Say the bells of Old Bailey.  
When I grow rich,  
Say the bells of Shoreditch.  
When will that be?  
Say the bells of Stepney.  
I do not know,  
Says the great bell of Bow.  
Here comes a candle to light you to bed,  
Here comes a chopper to chop off your head.  
Chop chop chop chop  
The last man's dead!"

When Bakura finished his song, a mortified Mokuba looked up at him, terrified.

"Seto! That Man is a terrorist!"

Bakura smirked down at Mokuba, "Shut up, Mokuba," he said, and walked back to Marik.

**(Line Break)**

**You gues, just bear with me here. I have only one more week of trimester exams, so I'm studying my ASS off for them! And I had 2 essays to write, 2 labs to write up (friggin long ones -_-) and SO MUCH OTHER STUFF! DAMN HOMEWORK TO THE SHADOW REALM! And I've been obsessed with Hetalia recently, so yeah…Hehe, I'll see you guys next time :3**


	24. 80 In which Tristan makes Glass Angels

**TheAverIn****: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!**

**theabridgedkuriboh****: Oops, thanks for pointing that out!**

**SerenePanic****: Yeah. The Japanese line was a lot different from the English line, but it was funny XD**

**sailorblaze****: Teá is secretly his daughter! DUN DUN DUN!**

**maximumride123****: Haha, true! Thanks for reading!**

**Uqluiorra12345****: Ugh...Glee...**

**Angelucie****: Okay...**

**Warrior orb5****: Yes I do! Also, I like your profile picture. What anime is it from?**

**VampiressBeauty20****: So could I...**

**GinnNekoChanAngel****: Thanks!**

**CrimsonSrawberry17****: England is filled with strange things. Like a Specter who is looking for a Garden, and a dude with an underground city, and a perfect gentleman with a top hat.**

**EgyptianBlueEyes****: Thanks!**

**Drinking game:**

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

**When you walk away, you don't hear me say,  
Please, oh baby, don't go,  
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight,  
It's hard to let it go...  
You're giving me too many things, lately.  
You're all I need, oooh.  
You smiled at me, and said,  
"Wish I could prove I love you,  
But does that mean I have to walk on water?  
When we are older, you'll understand  
What I mean when I said 'no,  
I don't think life is quite that simple.' "  
When you walk away, you don't hear me say,  
Please, oh baby, don't go,  
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight,  
It's hard to let it go...  
**

Marik, who had been watching Bakura the entire time from behind a pole ("The perfect disguise!" He had exclaimed), had emerged from his hiding spot, laughing his perfect ass off.

"And the part with chopping off the heads!" He chuckled"

"Hilarious," Bakura said with annoyance.

"And it's funny because churches can't owe money!"

"Yes, it's very funny. Shall we move on before I lose even more of my little gray cells?"

Marik nodded enthusiastically, and shoving the list at Bakura, "You read it, Mister Little Blue cells."

"Little _gray _cells, you wanker," Bakura shot back. He took the list from a smirking Marik and read, "Number 225. Break the glassware in the glassware aisle."

Bakura had a gleam in his eyes, "You know, Marik, I think that I might actually like to do this one. Destruction is my forte, especially with…sharp objects involved."

"Nu-uh! You got to do the last one, this one's mine!"

Bakura was determined to not be beaten by Marik, "Well, I could always tell Ishizu about the time at the bar. You know, the manatee incident."

"You wouldn't!" Marik cried.

"I bloody would."

Marik pouted, "You friggin jerkface, fine…"

Bakura smirked triumphantly, "Wait here, I'll be back when I'm done." Marik only pouted and sat down on a bench.

**Later…**

When Bakura found the glassware aisle (Really, why was it so difficult to navigate the store? Why must they organize so chaotically?), he smirked.

"There are even more breakable objects here than I imagined," Bakura said, a hint of amazement in his tone. Bakura grabbed glass after glass, shattering them one by one as to enjoy the pleasures of the sound. He laughed manically, breaking the last glass in the aisle.

"Ah, that was refreshing," he stated, walking away.

After a while, Tristan and Joey came upon the aisle of shattered glass.

"Hooray! It's snowing!" Tristan cried.

"Nye, Tristan, Ah don' think dat's snow-" Joey warned.

"I'm going to make a snow angel!" He yelled, jumping into the pile of broken glass.

**Back to our Villains…**

The faint siren of an ambulance could be heard in the distance as Bakura returned to Marik.

"Was it fun?" Marik asked.

Bakura nodded, "Obscenely."

Marik tried to degrade Bakura's satisfaction, "Well, while you were gone I smashed a whole bunch of stuff in Angry Birds! So ha, I bet you're jealous now, Fluffy!"

Bakura rolled his eyes, "I'm seething with rage now, Marik. It's terrible."

Marik smiled proudly and read the list, "Number 226. Go to the toy aisle, set up the GI Joe figures and yell," Then it's WAR!""

Bakura groaned, "Can't we go to the gun aisle and use pistols and yell, "Then it's WAR!"?"

Marik laughed, "Of course not, silly! We might offend the liberals! Guns are scary to them!"

"Screw the liberals, I'm a Monetarist," Bakura mumbled, following Marik to the toy section.

Soon, Marik and Bakura had set up their GI Joe action figures and plastic army men (As seen in Toy Story) and were ready to battle.

"Then it's WAR!" Both of them yelled. But before they could duke it out, Teá stepped in between them.

"Guys! Guys! It's not nice to fight your friends! Someone could get hurt!" She preached.

Marik and Bakura both nodded at each other. "You're right," Bakura said.

"We'll form an alliance," Marik added.

"And now we're at war with you, Teá!" That both yelled, throwing GI Joe toys at her.

"AAAH!" She yelled, "Stop it! I'm telling the Pharaoh! He'll show you!" She ran away, screaming.

Bakura scoffed, "It's not nice to tattle-tale on your friends!"

Marik laughed, "Good one, Bakura! It's funny because you are mocking her with her own saying!"

"Yes, Marik, I think we all understood the humor behind what I said."

"I was just making sure," Marik shrugged.

Bakura shook his head, "You're hopeless, Marik…"

Marik smiled, "I enslave you one day."

"What?" Bakura asked.

"What?" Marik repeated.

"What did you just say?"

"What, no, I didn't say anything."

"Yes you did!"

"I think you're hearing things."

"Well I think you're lying!"

Marik laughed, "I wouldn't lie to you, Florence."

Bakura eyed Marik suspiciously, "Fine."

Marik took out his list and crossed off number 226 and read, "Number 227. Pull down your pants next to a flower display and "water" the flowers."

"You can do this one!" Bakura quickly cried out.

"This doesn't make sense. Why would I pull down my pants just to water the flowers?" Marik pondered.

Bakura chuckled at Marik's naïvety, "Marik, it means that you have to pee on the flowers."

"But there's a bathroom right over there," Marik pointed to a dressing room.

Bakura shook his head, "Why don't we just skip this one?"

"No, we can't skip it! It's against the constitution!"

"What?"

"Article 1, section 8, Bakura. Article 1, friggin section 8."

Bakura facepalmed. But, in all fairness, Marik had never taken Government class.

Marik made his way to the garden section, which was deserted because, really, who plants anything anymore? Marik looked around to make sure nobody was looking. Then, he 'watered' the flowers.

Marik returned to Bakura, blushing from embarrassment.

Bakura was laughing to himself, 'That ought to teach him to think he can enslave me,' he thought, crossing off what he had added to the list just to pick on Marik.

**(Line Break)**

**Sorry for the shortness and the long wait! I finally got my damn computer fixed; I had a virus that wouldn't let me go on the Internet! McAfee sucks as virus protection... But, anyway, be sure to review! And thank you all for reading! **


	25. 81 In which there is a sale at K-mart

theabridgedkuriboh: Hehe, I agree.

Dynamite and Soup: Thanks! I don't even know with the whole McAfee thing, I think he killed his neighbor. But, Norton slows down your computer a lot and Kasperski costs a lot, so I guess I'm stuck with it.

Aquailita: OMR, I didn't even mean it that way but re-reading it, it totally implies that XD

sailorblaze: She hasn't turned into a monster yet because she takes after her mother.

SerenePanic: Thanks!

Uqluiorra12345: It's just dumb…

maximumride123: Geez, if you laugh for hours at my story than you should never read the original!

CrimsonStrawberry17: Tristan is stupid… 'nuf said.

Yin Yang Zodiac Girl: PAAAAAAASTAAAAA!

randomgirl40: You're British!

Angelucie: Article 1 section 8 is the elastic clause.

MalikBlishtar01: Thank you, Malik!

Elaine Ishtar: Little gray cells is what Poirot, the famous Belgian detective, says. And I remember singing that song back in kindergarten!

Every time Marik says 'Frig' or any of its variations, take a drink!

Every time Marik calls Bakura 'Fluffy' 'Kitty' or 'Kura', take a drink!

Every time Bakura says something British (Bloody, Wanker, Bugger, ect.), take a drink!

Every time someone says a bad word, take a drink! You have to take two if it is 'Frig' or one of Bakura's British exclamations.

Every time Yugi says 'Super Special Awesome', take a drink!

Whenever Kaiba tells Mokuba to shut up, take a drink!

**I don't own _I don't own Yu-Gi-OH, Yu-Gi-OH Abridged, this list, the idea for this fic, Super Target, Utada Hikaru, Simple and clean, Hellsing, Christopher Lambert, RaymesCreator, K-mart, or anything else_**

**When you walk away, you don't hear me say,  
Please, oh baby, don't go,  
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight,  
It's hard to let it go...  
You're giving me too many things, lately.  
You're all I need, oooh.  
You smiled at me, and said,  
"Wish I could prove I love you,  
But does that mean I have to walk on water?  
When we are older, you'll understand  
What I mean when I said 'no,  
I don't think life is quite that simple.' "  
When you walk away, you don't hear me say,  
Please, oh baby, don't go,  
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight,  
It's hard to let it go...**

"Seriously Bakura, I think I may be!" Marik cried.

"Marik, it's impossible. You're a guy," Bakura said, obviously annoyed.

"Fluffy, I understand! We can't keep denying it! How else would you explain the mood swings, the strange cravings, and the friggin stomach-aches?!"

"Marik, for the last time, you are NOT Integra from Hellsing! Just because there is a slight resemblance doesn't mean you're that person. That's like saying that I'm Christopher Lambert because I have white hair. Also, you've always been moody, you're a teenage boy and wanting to eat a lot is totally normal, and you have stomach-ache from all the bloody ab-workouts you do! Besides, smoking a lot doesn't give you stomach-aches," Bakura yelled.

Marik took a step back, "Fine, believe what you want, but when you get bitten I'm not helping you!"

Bakura rolled his eyes and read from the list that he just pulled out as Marik was rambling, "Number 228. Go to the bakery section and yell "I LOVE PIE!" to everyone you see."

"I LOVE PIE!" Marik yelled.

"No, no, you go and yell it at the baker people," Bakura scolded.

"I know, I was just practicing."

Bakura shook his head, "Right..."

_**A little while later...**_

Marik was in the bakery section. It smelled like apples, with a hint of the failed dreams of becoming a great chef.

Marik cleared his throat and screamed, "I LOVE PIE!"

Tristan happened to walk by during Marik's screams, "No way, cake is way better than pie!"

Marik paused, "...are you _**EFF!**_ing serious? Everyone knows pie is better than cake!"

Tristan pouted, "Says who?!"

"Says RaymsCreator."

"...I can't argue with that..." Tristan admitted defeat and ran away sobbing.

Smiling brightly, Marik returned to Bakura.

"How did it go?"

"I defeated Tristan, and I didn't even have to play a friggin card game! I'm the master of all things evil!"

"Remarkable, Marik. You are truly moving up in the evil ranking," Bakura remarked sarcastically.

Unfortunately, Marik didn't seem to get the memo and puffed out his chest proudly. Honestly, Marik's stupidity was getting rather stale. At first it was funny to laugh at, but now...hell, it was still funny to laugh at.

"Bakura!" Marik yelled.

"Wh-What?" Bakura stuttered, snapping out of his thoughts.

"Quit zoning out and read the friggin list," Marik demanded, stomping his foot for added effect.

Bakura shook his head, "I wasn't zoning out, I was just thinking. It's quite the hobby; you should try it one day."

Marik laughed, "Good one, Bakura! Pretending to insult to make me angry and make my evil deeds even more evil! You're really the best kitty an evil mastermind could ever ask for!"

Bakura sweatdropped, "Yeah, sure..." He cleared his throat and read, "Number 229. Take all the pets out of their cages, including the fish."

"We should do this one together, Bakura! Animals love you!"

Bakura growled, "Animals don't love me, they just like using me as a chew-toy."

"Fine, then you can handle the fish. You are a kitty, after all," Marik compromised.

Bakura shook his head, "He's so strange..."

After a while, the store was filled with chirping parrots and parakeets, barking dogs and meowing cats, several turtles, rats and snakes to take care of them, and flopping fish all over the store.

"Bakura, this was a mistake!" Marik whined. "That accursed bird pooped on my favorite shirt!"

"You're telling me, this rat has made a nest in my hair..." Bakura grumbled, picking the rat out and chucking it across the store.

"I wanna go hoooooooooome!" Marik moaned childishly.

"I don't caaaaaaaaare!" Bakura moaned back.

"Will you two moaning at each other and help us detain these pets?!" An employee yelled.

"No, this Target is the worst Target ever! The least you could have done was trained your birds to not crap on my tops!" Marik pouted.

Bakura tapped on Marik's shoulder, "Don't worry, I'll take care of this," he said, and snapped his fingers. In a moment all the animals were gone.

"What the..." Marik muttered.

"Sent to the shadow realm," Bakura replied casually.

The employee ran up to them, "You're going to have to pay for all the animals you just killed!" He yelled.

"THIS IS NOT THE DEVILISHLY SEXY BOY WHOM YOU ARE LOOKING FOR!" Marik yelled.

"This is not the devilishly sexy boy I'm looking for," he replied, and slumped away.

Bakura laughed, "Target really needs to stop hiring so many Steves."

Marik shrugged, "They just want the Steve tax-reduction."

Bakura shook his head, "Ironic, the thing that was supposed to save them money is costing them..." He chuckled again.

"Fluffy, the list."

"Oh, yes, right. Ahem, number 230. Announce that there's a huge sale at K-mart."

"Oh, oh , oh! I get to do this one! My voice is louder than yours!"

"That it is, Marik. And it's more persuasive, too. Very, very persuasive."

Marik smiled and ran off to the control room. Once there, he 'convinced' Steve the Control Guy to let him use the microphone.

"Attention everyone, there is a sale at K-mart! Everything is 50 percent off!" Marik yelled.

There was no response.

"Except the pornography magazines, which are free with every purchase," Marik added.

All of a sudden, there was a huge commotion outside the control room. People were rushing to get out of the store and get to K-mart, but the huge clumps of people and the small doors were making it difficult.

"This reminds me of the way Boudicca's army was defeated."

"WAH! Bakura, don't friggin sneak up on me!" Marik yelled.

"Sorry," Bakura said, smirking.

"Anyway, I suppose we might as well leave because everyone is gone. Geez, even the employees left..."

Bakura laughed, "That last part you added was bloody brilliant!"

"I know!" Marik said proudly as they both joined the crowd to exit the store.

**(Line Break)**

**Sorry for the wait, LIFE IS KILLING ME - Gya, we made it to the finals of our state soccer tournament, but we got beat by Del Sol, which sucks...And my coach is kind of a scumbag, so yeah...Damn...Anyway, I'll try to update more frequently, but now is the time that school is bombarding us with homework to prepare us for finals and out AP exams. Also, it's about midnight right now. So yeah, please review, because reviews are like porn and you need to satisfy your urges. **

**One more thing, do you guys think that this story is getting too dialogue-heavy? I read through it and it has a lot of dialogue... does that bother you guys?**


End file.
